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  • Opionions about the Walk On EggshellsSyndroms - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    and the willingness of both partners to find balance VERY difficult with 2 healthy partners With 1 or 2 with bipolar it is astounding WhatWasTheQuestion22 I am truly impressed with you and your husband So walk on the grass walk on the beach walk in the rain and walk on water if you can But only walk on eggshells when you need to and not for very long Best to all Karma January 11 2016 at 5 46 am 143397 goodstock Participant Thanks for the responses I hope for even more and hope this conversation helps us all come to a conclusion January 11 2016 at 9 39 am 143412 clementine Participant I used to walk on eggshells That lasted only a few months into when we moved in together I realized it was bad behaviour and unfair but I didn t know how else to cope Now he understands what is and isn t okay and there is a lot more respect He also trusts me now that I won t bail and he doesn t want to threaten our relationship It did almost end a while back and I gave him conditions which he has continued to meet Now the most dancing around it I do is give him space when he is irritable Good and thought provoking topic January 11 2016 at 1 28 pm 143432 motherhen Participant I do believe that walking on eggshells is a bad way to live but I ve been guilty of it because I like to make things nice So my husband has learned that it s ok to behave like a two year old when he doesn t get his way BP already makes it harder to deal with feelings of frustration but my making it nice means he never has to learn coping techniques The fact that I struggle with feeling bad if I don t make it nice is my issue and one I m trying to learn to deal with As in any relationship once in a while you do have to allow someone to vent never in a physically or verbally abusive way but when it becomes the norm it s not good And BP can become an excuse that means he never has to figure out a way to cope or take responsibility for his actions I think the idea of giving your partner and yourself space when they re irritable is the best solution January 12 2016 at 8 26 am 143534 goodstock Participant During both my wife s depression and mania I used to make everything worse by focusing on trying to get through the day without a traumatic experience for our whole family Each one our family members now know that there ia a big difference between taking a time out for a day to tame my wife s triggers and pretending like it doesn t exist or will go away if we let the mood change take control of our marriage and family We never let the tail wag the dog for more than a day before telling my wife that we are concerned that We need to take steps to help her and us back on the healthy track It took time to get to this place but know the eggshell place is not where we want to live again January 12 2016 at 9 54 pm 143753 trying Participant When I was depressed before christmas I was so withdrawn that I could not bring myself to speak People acted so strange whenever I passed through a room I was the elephant in the room everyone was ignoring It made it so much harder to try and get back around people It made me feel like I was wrecking the family or paranoid that they were talking when I was not in the room I ended up writting a note and copying it for the others in the home trying to explain that this was temporary and I was trying to be normal again and if they could to try and act normal That helped a lot I wrote that even if I was not talking or laughing I might still be appriciating the conversation even if I could not be a part of it I recognise that this is different from walking on eggshells around someone who is in a manic swing and on that I m afraid that I still walk on eggshells around my dad at times How much do you ignore and when do you speak up January 12 2016 at 10 53 pm 143761 fullycapable Participant Does anyone have any advice about how to establish boundaries I ve been walking on eggshells for my entire relationship but he doesn t seem to care if I physically leave I m currently on my second night in a hotel and he s told me whether I decide to come home or not he s ok and he refuses to set up some ground rules with me He s very recently diagnosed within the last couple of weeks and does not have his BP under control at all at this point Before his manic episode hospitalization diagnosis etc he would always tell me that he would be devastated if we ever had to spend one night apart so I don t think that he s currently of his right mind but I feel at a loss about what to do and I can t stay at the hotel indefinitely January 13 2016 at 1 48 am 143788 goodstock Participant You need to try to get him to go to therapy for his bp and also to the psychiatrist It has really helped that my wife s family also encourages her to get professional help when they see a mood change See if you can get a trusted family member or friend to also encourage him to do ther same January 13 2016 at 10 09 pm 143957 rosepetals

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  • Opionions about the Walk On EggshellsSyndroms - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community - Part 2
    less sleep getting louder speeding talking faster thoughts starting to keep me awake even after a sleeping pill and listening when one of my family points out things like the fact when I seem to avoid people like my daughter I am becoming depressed then I have a good chance of making the choices to take the steps to help prevent a mood shift That s just my 2 cents January 18 2016 at 9 27 am 144503 goodstock Participant Confronting my wife two days ago about her symptoms instead of walking on eggshells was definitely the right thing to do She took a Klonopin pill to help her sleep and is back to herself again I had to let the pets out because she was sleeping so hard but it sure was worth it Sometimes the simplest things worth the best January 18 2016 at 2 54 pm 144545 whatwasthequestion 2 2 Participant Hi goodstock So glad you let us know how your wife and family are doing now you have been in my thoughts and prayers You are right about Sometimes the simplest things as it certainly proved out in your case It is always great to have that plan in place and get off of the eggshells When You Realize you have been on them for any length of time Smart Thinking and quick action That long sleep did a world of good for her mindset At least it does for me too You are a wonderful support to your wife and for your family Thanks for writing goodstock Blessings Sheryl January 20 2016 at 6 49 am 144797 goodstock Participant Thanks Whatwasthequestion We I are all quick to say that it is time to go to the therapist or doctor at the first sign of a mood change but sometime as it is something simple The other challenge for the middle class is to pay for the doctor and the therapist LOL I laugh but it is a lot of pressure Healthcare with a family is enough but throw in this disorder and some meds and that high deductible and it becomes a new stressor I am looking ahead and see 30k in 2016 combined health care cost The affordable health care act Cost as much as the regular health insurance My wife s recovery has been worth it though This reply was modified 3 weeks 4 days ago by goodstock January 20 2016 at 11 43 am 144831 whatwasthequestion 2 2 Participant Yes goodstock Navigating the healthcare system now requires a Degree in higher education of Understanding Bureaucracy 101 along with whatever knowledge you already have My husband and I are trying to handle all of the anxiety of it in a Bankrupted state The clinic where we see our psychiatrists therapists and case worker has virtually been closed when it used to be a thriving center with many doctors etc They have cut their clientele by over 80 and it is happening in so many other states too Now it is only available for a few very severe cases I don t know if I am fortunate that I am still one that IS accepted there or more so unfortunate for being ILL in the first place Yikes It is quite a paradox that I used to handle the care plans for the health of my patients while in nursing in hospice care Now I can t seem to take one step forward concerning my own mental health You are so correct about its extreme cost when it comes to mental healthcare as there doesn t seem to be any help in the near future If we suffered from a somatic illness i e cancer diabetes even heart failure we mostly would be fully insured without the huge co pays and deductibles The insurance for somatic issues gets a higher payout in many cases it is total coverage from insurance compared to that of a 60 40 split with mental health I just don t get it goodstock We are always getting preached at to get our mental issues taken care of as far as keeping them in check but it does cost us a financial fortune on top of the stress this causes in itself then we are told to get ahold of the stress From The Stress It sounds like a cruel joke and really is upsetting I am always writing to our state s representatives concerning mental healthcare but get the basic form letter We don t have the money to fund the programs What to do What to do Have Faith and Hope you are doing great within your family and I use some of your ideas in the posts you add to put on our Boundary List You always offer such sage advice Keep writing Sheryl January 21 2016 at 2 59 pm 145033 knowthyself Participant Just hopping back in here after a very long hiatus This is pretty timely I just posted looking for some tips about talking to my hubs about his elevated negative state of mind He was laid off recently and with the holidays he just seems agitated over everything I ve been trying to give him space which is our usual agreed upon coping strategy however since he is home full time it is way more pronounced Instead of intervening or speaking up I am finding myself retreating which is an bad old habit These strategies usually work but since he seems to be in a more elevated and consistent mood I don t seem to be getting through Any suggestions January 21 2016 at 7 13 pm 145068 polarmouse Participant Hi know thyself I imagine his increase negative state of mind can be expected after being laid off especially right before the holidays However like many have posted here you walking on eggs shells is not going to help the matter it s only going to make the tension between you grow Since

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/opionions-about-the-walk-on-eggshellssyndroms/page/2/ (2016-02-14)
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  • goodstock | Activity Streams | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    that she claimed that was never in but we both know exactly what she was doing during yhat mania Actually the scariest thing was when she first started her Read more goodstock replied to the topic Need help coping barely surviving in the forum Partners 2 weeks 1 day ago First God bless you for going through this journey with your husband Marriage has enough ups and downs on its own without having a mental health disorder thrown into the mix You were not very specific but most of us are already aware of the stereotypical symptoms of of manic depression Seven out of 10 years is a long time and I give you Read more goodstock replied to the topic Late diagnosis of bipolar 2 after age 40 in the forum Group Bipolar Type II 2 weeks 5 days ago I deleted my response because your situation is so much different than what I have experienced with my wife Sounda like you you feel like you are just embarrassed aboht your manic personality but that it hasn t caused you and your loved ones any traumatic pain That is good Best wishes goodstock and 2for1 are now friends 3 weeks 1 day ago goodstock replied to the topic Opionions about the Walk On EggshellsSyndroms in the forum Partners 3 weeks 1 day ago Thanks to everyone for their responses I think that a lot of the terrible stories that come from depression or mania could be nipped in the bud or at least not as extreme had significant others had the know how and courage to confront their bipolar lived one before the mood has a chance to take over I have told and read many stories where is Read more goodstock replied to the topic Opionions about the Walk On EggshellsSyndroms in the forum Partners 3 weeks 4 days ago Thanks Whatwasthequestion We I are all quick to say that it is time to go to the therapist or doctor at the first sign of a mood change but sometime as it is something simple The other challenge for the middle class is to pay for the doctor and the therapist LOL I laugh but it is a lot of pressure Healthcare with a family is enough but Read more goodstock replied to the topic Opionions about the Walk On EggshellsSyndroms in the forum Partners 3 weeks 6 days ago Confronting my wife two days ago about her symptoms instead of walking on eggshells was definitely the right thing to do She took a Klonopin pill to help her sleep and is back to herself again I had to let the pets out because she was sleeping so hard but it sure was worth it Sometimes the simplest things worth the best goodstock replied to the topic Opionions about the Walk On EggshellsSyndroms in the forum Partners 4 weeks ago Ironic that I posted this discussion and have been walking on eggshells all day I actually think that

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/members/goodstock/ (2016-02-14)
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  • So confused… - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    Start Your Own Discussion This topic contains 1 reply has 2 voices and was last updated by lrbanks6 3 weeks 3 days ago January 21 2016 at 9 25 am 144976 newhorizons Participant Hello Everyone I am new here I found the forum because my husband is bipolar and I have been struggling with my own stress trying to cope We just got married and moved in together about 6 months ago We have been together for about 5 years total He has known about his bipolar for about 15 years or more and had consistently been on meds for about 10 years When we were dating and didn t live together I barely could even tell that the disease was there He seemed incredibly stable the majority of the time with some down times here and there Well I guess he has stopped taking his meds for the last 8 months He didn t even tell me until 3 months ago While he did tell me he wasn t taking it regularly which I discouraged he did not reveal that he had stopped Now I am worrying about it non stop I am driving myself crazy every mood he has or thing he does wondering if it s a sign that he is starting to have a bipolar episode I definitely feel like his moods are more volatile but doubt my judgement due to the fact we have never cohabitated before Perhaps he was able to shield me from it better when we were not living together I have asked him to at least tell his doctor that he is off the meds so he has the support he needs but although he agrees to he never does He says the doc won t be supportive of the choice and will not treat him any more if he knows not sure if that s true seems implausible Since we recently moved in together I am having so much of a hard time telling if these are just growing pains of the relationships adjusting to the new living situation or if his moods and behavior have genuinely changed due to discontinuing the meds I sometimes feel despair and anger towards myself thinking what have I gotten myself into I don t want to be insensitive and blame everything on his bipolar but I can t help being super worried about it all the time I have no idea what can happen if he is off his meds And his moods inevitably trigger me to feel anxious and depressed too Any advice on how to approach this what to worry about limits to set etc would be very much appreciated Feeling quite lost January 21 2016 at 10 18 am 144982 lrbanks6 Participant The first step to treating this illness is admitting you have a problem and getting the treatment you need It can t be an on again off again cycle if you want to remain stable Ultimately the decision

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/so-confused-3/ (2016-02-14)
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  • newhorizons | Activity Streams | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    Music Confidence Building Diagnosis Misdiagnosis Diet Doctors ECT Exercise Finding Balance Hospitalization Living Well Medication Meditation Mindfulness Peer Support Pets Animals Physical Health Psychotherapy Setting Goals Stress Management Talk Therapy Wellness Management Plan Relationships Caregivers Dating Family Forgiveness Friends Parenting Children School Spouse Partners Stigma Work Hope Celebrities Hope Inspiration Motivation Religion Faith Spirituality Success Stories K i d s All Articles Diagnosis Family Stories Genetics Living Well Support Symptoms Treatment Blog Most Recent Posts Meet Our Bloggers Comment Policy Forum Log In Forum Home Topics Discussions Partners Page Members Forum Rules Community Blog Forum Associations Letter to the Editor SOUNDOFF Talk to bp Writers Magazine Current Issue Archived Issues Customer Service Print Digital Subscription Buy Past Issues Frequently Asked Questions Digital Subscriber Access Page Subscribe Home Members newhorizons active 3 weeks 3 days ago Activity Profile Friends 0 Forums Personal Mentions Favorites Friends Show Everything Updates Posts Comments Friendships Topics Replies Viewing item 1 to 2 of 2 items newhorizons started the topic So confused in the forum Partners 3 weeks 3 days ago Hello Everyone I am new here I found the forum because my husband is bipolar and I have been struggling with my own stress trying to cope We just got married and moved in together about 6 months ago We have been together for about 5 years total He has known about his bipolar for about 15 years or more and had consistently been on meds for Read more newhorizons became a registered member 3 weeks 3 days ago CURRENT ISSUE NEWSLETTER Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/members/newhorizons/ (2016-02-14)
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  • So scared to try again - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    again Search for Reply to this Discussion Start Your Own Discussion Tagged Feeling pulled and scared to trust This topic contains 3 replies has 2 voices and was last updated by polarmouse 3 weeks 4 days ago January 19 2016 at 7 01 am 144625 creekwalker Participant Friends I posted a long vent yesterday but I think I was on the wrong page My husband is bp Weve been together for 10 years In August due to his decision to ignore the advice of his therapist and psych to do what was necessary to become stable I chose to seperate We had an agreement to seperate with the intent to work on any codependency get ourselves reset individually continue with therapy etc He was all about gettking himyself right and do everything necessary to reunite It was excruciating being apart but I was doing the work It has been 5 months My husband took a different route He made friends at work who are young and party a lot He went off of meds and get himself in tremendous debt He also got with other women The cheating is something he has never done before Of course when everything fell apart he came to me Aside from the fake friends who don t know he s bp he has no one I had always intended to reunite if he was taking care of himself We have been talking I am going to his Psych and therapist with him tomorrow at his request I don t know if i can do this anymore because he lied the whole time about the meds the partying and the women I was lonely and missing him but now I m terrified of being back in relationship with him He broke my heart January 19 2016 at 10 30 am 144655 polarmouse Participant Hi creekwalker It s good to hear from you but I m sorry that your separation has not resulted in both of you following the paths you laid out I agree that you need to be very cautious about moving forward with any type of reuniting at this point You did the work he did not and that is unacceptable at this point Going to therapy with him is fine if thats what you want Don t do it out of some misplaced sense of obligation You have worked hard to get yourself to a better place When and if he decided to get it together and be honest about letting you down again then perhaps you can try this again You can be lonely for a person while not being with him but you can also be lonely living with a person Best regards PM January 19 2016 at 11 11 am 144661 creekwalker Participant PM it is so good to hear your voice of wisdom I am going to require 6 months of following our original plan before dipping my toe back in the pool I love him but he

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/so-scared-to-try-again/ (2016-02-14)
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  • creekwalker | Activity Streams | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    that although I miss my husband terribly miss that home I had lovingly created and am exhausted not sleeping I am white knuckling my way through I am really ok I can do this My husband and I Read more creekwalker replied to the topic Spousal Lying in the forum Bipolar Support for Partners 5 months 3 weeks ago Hi myredm6 in my experience lying or hiding things is not specifically a bp characteristic but a human behavior with many different motivations One of these is shame another is guilt I m sure your husbands behavior is very upsetting and creates a feeling of vulnerability for you How do you want to trust someone who lies to you My answer is Read more creekwalker replied to the topic Please help Very alone and considering leaving my husband in the forum Bipolar Support for Partners 5 months 4 weeks ago You know I feel your pain My husband and I have the amazing connection love and affection for each other We have been through so much together Like you We have something very special Although I have not had to cope with the drug situation my husband had many other unhealthy coping self medicating behaviors He would obsess over things Read more creekwalker replied to the topic Detaching lovingly in the forum Bipolar Support for Partners 5 months 4 weeks ago I was without internet for days The move has been the rough I am so sad I feel completely lost and so scared The apartment is fine and my neighbors seem very nice I cry myself to sleep every night I miss my husband terribly We have seen each other a couple times during the move and he has been more present selfless and caring than he has Read more creekwalker replied to the topic Detaching lovingly in the forum Bipolar Support for Partners 6 months ago Hello friends It s moving day My spouse is feeling responsible for all I have to go through financially and emotionally I am very sad and overwhelmed My life is in turmoil I am blessed to have good friends including all of you to help and support me during this most difficult time Few understand the heartbreak of leaving the man I love Read more creekwalker replied to the topic Moving on in the forum Bipolar Support for Partners 6 months ago Dear Confused your rant makes total sense to me I am married to a bp man I am learning through individual therapy that those of us who are attracted to people with unstable or very inconsistent unpredictable behavior are somehow attracted to the chaos I had an active social life and many family and friends in my life until I became involved Read more creekwalker replied to the topic Triggering Material Devastated and guilty in the forum Bipolar Support for Partners 6 months ago Dear Shan thank you for sharing your story I am a bit confused about why you are

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  • Still Confused – The Reply - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    Buy Past Issues Frequently Asked Questions Digital Subscriber Access Page Subscribe 39 Views Still Confused The Reply Home Bipolar Support Group Topics Partners Still Confused The Reply Search for Reply to this Discussion Start Your Own Discussion Tagged seclusion pushed away relationship spouse This topic contains 0 replies has 1 voice and was last updated by what to do 3 weeks 4 days ago January 19 2016 at 8 50 pm 144753 what to do Participant Hey guys I m having difficulties replying to any responses on a discussion I started please know I m not being rude as I wanted to add to our conversation sooner Therefore I ll reply in a shiny brand new discussion sp5992 What you said makes sense and I m sure they don t mean to cause me pain I m also certain they are uncomfortable talking about it but I wish they would trust in me enough to know I will be supportive and help in anyway I can However we cant discuss it until they bring it up because they don know I know How did I find out A close friend Polar Mouse our relationship is great until they have an episode So many times things would be great then out of no where irrational paranoid or depressive behavior would set in and they would end our relationship After a few days weeks or months we would communicate generally they would apologize even though I d ask them not to and we would pick up where we left off Hopefully we will speak soon as this will be the first time we will be together since I ve learned of their having BP Incidentally this is a guy girl relationship but I have to be careful of what I say because

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