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  • vafriend | Activity Streams | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    Confidence Building Diagnosis Misdiagnosis Diet Doctors ECT Exercise Finding Balance Hospitalization Living Well Medication Meditation Mindfulness Peer Support Pets Animals Physical Health Psychotherapy Setting Goals Stress Management Talk Therapy Wellness Management Plan Relationships Caregivers Dating Family Forgiveness Friends Parenting Children School Spouse Partners Stigma Work Hope Celebrities Hope Inspiration Motivation Religion Faith Spirituality Success Stories K i d s All Articles Diagnosis Family Stories Genetics Living Well Support Symptoms Treatment Blog Most Recent Posts Meet Our Bloggers Comment Policy Forum Log In Forum Home Topics Discussions Partners Page Members Forum Rules Community Blog Forum Associations Letter to the Editor SOUNDOFF Talk to bp Writers Magazine Current Issue Archived Issues Customer Service Print Digital Subscription Buy Past Issues Frequently Asked Questions Digital Subscriber Access Page Subscribe Home Members vafriend active 6 months 3 weeks ago Activity Profile Friends 0 Forums Personal Mentions Favorites Friends Show Everything Updates Posts Comments Friendships Topics Replies Viewing item 1 to 2 of 2 items vafriend started the topic How to correctly ask Could it be you in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 6 months 3 weeks ago A friend of mine usually manages his bipolar disorder well but sometimes will blow up at me going on long and disproportionate tirades over the tiniest things We re sitting down to talk soon How can I politely ask Is it possible that your perceptions and reactions were influenced more by your mental state than by my behavior He and I are Read more vafriend became a registered member 6 months 3 weeks ago CURRENT ISSUE NEWSLETTER Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/members/vafriend/ (2016-02-14)
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  • Hate myself for hating my friends! - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    missing out What gets me through those feelings is asking myself what is best for me do I really want to call those people or do I just feel bad for letting them down When you are dealing with a serious illness you have to look out for yourself don t be a people pleaser One thing to be careful about though is being too paranoid about people judging you Sometimes after we come out about our illness we are extra self conscious and anxious Before cutting out a friend that you actually still want around I would advise to really make sure that they feel the way you think Try to connect with them in a very open genuine manner about your concerns and see how they respond Also some of growing apart is just normal during different times of life and may not have anything to do with bp In that case give yourself a break we all go through that You said school friends so I m assuming these are high school or college folks who you may just grown out of If you feel that you are growing in different ways maybe you should start trying to forge new relationships that align with your interests and personality now This could mean joining groups getting involved in your community any number of things Hope this helps If I wasn t clear or didn t get your main question please respond I ve got a lot on this topic belephant July 13 2015 at 8 04 am 121217 polarmouse Participant Hi bling 1292 belephant had a wonderful response to your post and I d just like to add a couple things from my experiences with friends over the years One is that the before and after treatment of BP tends to change our personality at least partially and therefor some friends naturally gravitate away from each other at that point The second for me was before I was diagnosed I tended to hang out with other self destructive people or those who were involved in negative behaviors They enjoyed having me around because I was like them After I was diagnosed and received treatment I was no longer in to those types of behaviors so I knew I needed to get away from those types of people and negative behaviors They really were not true friends anyway I second belephants point about the paranoia of thinking others are judging us about our diagnose I have found that while some are very judgmental most just are uneducated about this illness The news media and media in general have only reported on the negative experiences with BP and thats all most people know I find if you have an open honest discussion with most people they look at this illness in a new light Not that I discuss it right away when making a new friend Hang in there and you will find new friends This forum is a great

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/hate-myself-for-hating-my-friends/ (2016-02-14)
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  • bling1292 | Activity Streams | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    Psychotherapy Setting Goals Stress Management Talk Therapy Wellness Management Plan Relationships Caregivers Dating Family Forgiveness Friends Parenting Children School Spouse Partners Stigma Work Hope Celebrities Hope Inspiration Motivation Religion Faith Spirituality Success Stories K i d s All Articles Diagnosis Family Stories Genetics Living Well Support Symptoms Treatment Blog Most Recent Posts Meet Our Bloggers Comment Policy Forum Log In Forum Home Topics Discussions Partners Page Members Forum Rules Community Blog Forum Associations Letter to the Editor SOUNDOFF Talk to bp Writers Magazine Current Issue Archived Issues Customer Service Print Digital Subscription Buy Past Issues Frequently Asked Questions Digital Subscriber Access Page Subscribe Home Members bling1292 active 7 months ago Activity Profile Friends 0 Forums Personal Mentions Favorites Friends Show Everything Updates Posts Comments Friendships Topics Replies Viewing item 1 to 3 of 3 items bling1292 replied to the topic Hate myself for hating my friends in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 7 months ago Thank you so much for your support and wonderful response Feeling a lot better now Looking forward to making new friends and starting afresh bling1292 started the topic Hate myself for hating my friends in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 7 months 1 week ago I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 nearly 3 years back My relationships had been turbulent with most of my family members prior to being diagnosed Now I am on regular medication While I am really thankful to my school friends who stood by me during those tough times I find myself growing apart from them There s this distance which is creeping in Read more bling1292 became a registered member 7 months 1 week ago CURRENT ISSUE NEWSLETTER Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/members/bling1292/ (2016-02-14)
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  • I'm so confused right now.. - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    me or might take the piss out of me sometimes Its like they get all the good attitude an I get all the crap When he s at work he says he has a right laugh and they do silly things and again he chatters away Its like seeing two sides of one person and it really hurts I accompany him to his appointments with his doctor make calls an appts when he s too anxious to make them message him every morning If i didn t he wouldn t message me or he would message asking if I m with someone else coz I ve not texted him Most days of the week I can send four or five messages a day and receive no reply or a short snappy one word answer Its very rare that he tells me he loves me if at all via text or spoken word and i find it hard to believe he s telling me the truth of he does tell me coz his actions don t match If i were to call for a chat he wouldn t answer yet alone call back so we may not see each other for four days or so and there s no real conversation or communication of any kind Continuing with conversation When we are together there s hardly any conversation however hard I try I may get a few snappy irritated words or a mumble from him or even shhhh I m trying to watch this and you want to talk Yet if i don t talk I m accused of not talking to him or telling him anything and hiding stuff from him He doesn t tend to speak to me very nicely and always seems irritated by me despite his mood If i happen to feel in a low mood due to trying to manage his bipolar along with my youngest son at home dyslexic and poss autistic add i get what the matter with you Are you grumpy Oh yes you are your all grumpy what for The other day we got in from the shops and he said what you doing Are you going to cook this tea or not To which i replied no And he then came face to face with me and said did you say no I said that I d cook tea when I m ready and went off to go to the toilet He then said where you going now This tea isn t going to cook itself It really got to me and started making me think hard about what s going on in this relationship I m feeling increasingly confused and unhappy by his changes in mood behaviour attitude and spiteful words I really do care and i really am trying hard to understand how Bipolar effects him but I m starting to question if it is all to do with his bipolar or is this his general personality temperament I don t know what to think I m feeling really low and sad and my own life seems to be disappearing I feel like a caregiver and punch bag and I certainly don t feel like a girlfriend or even loved It hurts so much Please if anyone has had a similar experience is experiencing it now What did you decide to do How do you cope manage etc I ll be very honest in saying that I am at the point of wanting to walk away because I m not sure I want to live my life this way for the rest of my life I m not sure if things will change And if I can t talk to him then I don t know what else I can do Thanks for listening and sorry its such a long post x June 22 2015 at 2 04 pm 120298 bputah Participant I got less than half way through that and was wondering why your with this guy Bipolar is not an excuse to be a douche bag Would you put up with this if wasn t bipolar It s a good rule that if you get more joy than you get shit it might be worth it If you get more shit than joy what s the point You sound like a great partner Find yourself a great partner June 22 2015 at 5 44 pm 120308 beecharmer Participant Hi Midgey First off let me say you sound like an incredibly patient and understanding person It seems to me you are going above and beyond to accommodate your partner and his needs without getting much of anything ever in return That sounds like a very unhappy situation for you If this were an established relationship and his behavior was new I might answer differently than I m going to I would likely tell you to continue to be patient go to his counselor with him or at least make sure he was honest with his doctor about how he treats you and probably others as well But this is a fairly new relationship as they go You have seen what you re getting into and what he is is not willing to do about it If you ask him to open up more or let you go to a counselor with him and he agreed I d say there may be some hope for this relationship But if he doesn t want to help himself and continues to treat you poorly it may be time to move on I was diagnosed with BP2 almost 28 years ago There have been times when I shut down and don t always treat my wife with the respect she deserves Most of that can be attributed to my BP but I still own the behavior Your partner needs to own that behavior and make an attempt to help himself If he makes no move to do something to create a better relationship and frankly a better healthier him you need to take care of yourself That may mean walking away You have done the right thing by being supportive to him just don t lose yourself in the process Beecharmer June 23 2015 at 3 58 am 120319 midgeymoomoo Participant I am constantly feeling angry with myself and with my partner and I m holding it all inside I know I deserve better I guess I falter in this decision due to the love and connection that I still feel I falter because I am afraid of hurting him I feel that we have can no longer be called a relationship I have become this man s caregiver the loyal partner who must remain silent in case she disturbs the fragile thread of happiness he clings to I ve no clear answer as to why I continue to deal with his erratic and emotionally chaotic behaviour Perhaps it is the thoughtful and caring part of him that so very occasionally peeks out from beneath the cloud of mental illness and renews me with a sense of hope Part of me can see that this is likely to go nowhere and should end for both our sakes part of me has hope rose tinted glasses fooling myself that it will change things will get better he will get better But in reality if he has been this way most of his adult life even though he s on meds and nothing has changed then I can t see change happening in the future He has to want to change and I m not sure he has it in him to do that without professional help but if he won t accept that either then things will remain the same I know he hates being this way but I can t support and help him if he s not going to do any of the work himself I have hope but I don t have hope if that makes sense And so much hurt to give so much and to receive only material goods in return gifts t shirts spoilt with Xmas gifts motorbike gear etc I m not materialistic I want to feel love not see it materialistically I know he loves me but not in the way I want to be loved I m a kind and caring person I know that is my weakness especially in relationships I hate to hurt others Silly I know June 23 2015 at 10 53 pm 120354 bputah Participant It s not silly or a weakness to be kind and caring You just need to get some in return I honestly don t know if it s a characteristic of bipolar to kind of be dead at home but laughing and active with friends and at work I think it might be because I put everything physically and mentally into work to be successful at that and anything social gives me anxiety and kind o makes me exhausted Idk I am the same in that way as your boyfriend by nature sit an watch tv until it s time to go back to work But I m honest with my wife about this and let her know that I will do anything she wants any time she wants as long as she plans it I tell her if it s up to me I ll work in the yard or watch tv I only plan a day for her birthday My wife might even describe me the same way you do him Im learning to except that not everyone else I recognize little things in all the partners of BP forums that my wife tells me that I m like So now I m wondering how bad I really am No I m good I still think he s that way and you should find someone who appreciates you June 28 2015 at 4 35 pm 120553 midgeymoomoo Participant I took the opportunity to go and talk to my partner on Thursday after he d texted back to say he was free either thurs or fri When i arrived he was watching tv which he switched off and then turned to me and said so you wanted to talk So talk I didn t really know what to say or where to begin and i told him just that I told him that i felt hurt by his messages and his unkind words last week weekend to which he said they weren t meant and he can t help what he s texting or saying when he s down angry He said he took a diazepam last weekend to take the edge off his mood temper He said i should take it all with a pinch of salt because its not meant I told him it still hurts and i felt upset an hurt by his unkind words which is why i was quiet over the weekend He said that i need to tell him there and then that he s overstepped the mark otherwise he won t know coz he doesn t know he s said it to him its normal He said that if i don t talk to him and tell him how is he supposed to know But likewise if he doesn t talk to me about how he s feeling how am I supposed to know I asked what if he gets angry at me pulling him up on his unkind words He said he would only be angry if i didn t say anything at all I can t be sure of that though He then went on to talk about how he can t help how he is He wakes up feeling low questioning whether he wants to get out of bed wants to go to work or not and that its a real effort to just do that saying that given the chance he would stay in bed all day He goes to bed early because then he can get through the day and onto the next He said he gets bored easily whatever he s doing or bot doing He told me he can t concentrate for long with so much going around in his head which is another reason he gets bored He told me he is always thinking morbid thoughts his boys being kidnapped or killed his friends and family being hurt etc and he can tell me a hundred ways to end his life coz that s what s floating round in his head a lot of the time even if he isn t feeling down Told me that s why he used to self harm to cut it out but that he s not done that for a while now Says he doesn t know when his mood is going to change and if he does feel it then he can t stop it happening I asked if when he first met me was it all an act putting on of a brave face as such he said he doesn t know but it felt real it felt good He says at work he has to put on a face coz he feels people will judge him otherwise I asked him how he feels when I m around when he sees me to which he replied I get excited to know I m going to see you He said its not me and he can t help how he feels Said he s got no motivation to do anything or go anywhere out to see family or friends and when he s down he just wants to be alone and not see anyone not even his boys who he fought so hard to regain access to Says he just can t be bothered and just wants to sleep Told me he gets annoyed at the silliest of things and his youngest liveliest bless him child annoys him He feels anxious a lot of the time and paranoid about stuff too i asked of this is why he questions if in cheating or am with someone else to which he said yes I told him that I want us to do things together like we did when we first met He said he does too but he finds it hard to feel any motivation and said he hates crowds and groups and gets bored easily It made me feel upset He told me that therapy counselling didn t work so he won t even give it another chance He says he s not and never will be the romantic kind of guy but if i want him to be then he s supposes he could but that he won t really like it He told me that this is him and he can t change who he is and he thought i accepted him as he is He said he doesn t open up doesn t talk because he doesn t trust people as he been betrayed in the past Said he trusts me though Said he understands if i want to leave its up to me But doesn t want me to coz he loves me I was crying here and there throughout but he sat next to me devoid of emotion no touch nothing I d offered empathy and shown understanding throughout i even lightened the conversation here and there to which he smiled or make a faint but fun comment in reply Conversation ended as i sat there unable to think straight really unsure of what how to take it all in and make sense of it I thanked him for opening up to me and talking He said it was hard for him to talk but that he to do it and hopes i understand a bit more about it I m still unsure this evening of how i feel am i feeling love or otherwise for him He came round yesterday quiet sat on my sofa and did nothing except comment he was bored and told me its not me he s just bored and needed to go to town he was thirsty etc His kids my youngest and i played outside i remained upbeat singing dancing and enjoying myself with the boys I didn t feel bothered by his comments or his manner its like i let them wash over me I hugged him i chatted away but it somehow didn t feel real I kissed him held him stroked his head as he lay on my lap I wasn t fussed when he went home knowing he wouldn t be staying over a week ago this would have bothered me a lot And today i was at a tournament all morning with my boys i went to see my partner and his boys this afternoon with the intention of going to the play park with all the boys My partner was absorbed by the tv and my youngest kept asking to go out My partner said lets give it half an hour and go out I got fed up after 5 and got my trainers on and we went off out I played with all the boys whilst he sat on the bench on his phone aside from pushing his boy for 5 min on a swing He asked us to stay to tea said it would save me time when i got home but i needed to get home earlier than normal today so declined I also declined because i didn t want to get lumbered with cooking everyone s tea having asked him what he and boys were having to tea with a reply of not got a clue So i sit here in limbo I feel a little numb I feel a bit guilty more so when i think of the future aware that we may just sit on the sofa and

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/im-so-confused-right-now/ (2016-02-14)
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  • midgeymoomoo | Activity Streams | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    i d s All Articles Diagnosis Family Stories Genetics Living Well Support Symptoms Treatment Blog Most Recent Posts Meet Our Bloggers Comment Policy Forum Log In Forum Home Topics Discussions Partners Page Members Forum Rules Community Blog Forum Associations Letter to the Editor SOUNDOFF Talk to bp Writers Magazine Current Issue Archived Issues Customer Service Print Digital Subscription Buy Past Issues Frequently Asked Questions Digital Subscriber Access Page Subscribe Home Members midgeymoomoo active 7 months 2 weeks ago Activity Profile Friends 0 Forums Personal Mentions Favorites Friends Show Everything Updates Posts Comments Friendships Topics Replies Viewing item 1 to 5 of 5 items midgeymoomoo replied to the topic I m so confused right now in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 7 months 2 weeks ago Its over I broke it off this afternoon I feel really naff I went round to his as soon as i arrived he jumped in the car and said we are off for a drive i need to get out As we drove i felt mute i had nothing in me to say Then he said if your not going to talk you may as well not have come over I then told him that i felt that this Read more midgeymoomoo replied to the topic I m so confused right now in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 7 months 2 weeks ago I took the opportunity to go and talk to my partner on Thursday after he d texted back to say he was free either thurs or fri When i arrived he was watching tv which he switched off and then turned to me and said so you wanted to talk So talk I didn t really know what to say or where to begin and i told him just that I told him that i Read more midgeymoomoo replied to the topic I m so confused right now in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 7 months 3 weeks ago I am constantly feeling angry with myself and with my partner and I m holding it all inside I know I deserve better I guess I falter in this decision due to the love and connection that I still feel I falter because I am afraid of hurting him I feel that we have can no longer be called a relationship I have become this man s caregiver the Read more midgeymoomoo started the topic I m so confused right now in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 7 months 3 weeks ago I met my partner back in November of last year we met on an online dating site and chatted away by email eventually meeting up after a few weeks of chatting online On our first date he came across as very shy but chatty and laughed a fair bit too it turns out that I was in the same class as his twin siblings and we knew one another

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/members/midgeymoomoo/ (2016-02-14)
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  • Needing Advice! - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    herself again 2 How long before we can tell if the meds will work 3 Is it likely she won t be able to hold down a job full time 4 Does she need talk therapy with a psych 5 Will someone tell me there s hope 6 Is lamictal and latuda a good combination for treatment I m so overwhelmed I have two kids a husband a full time job and trying to help her Since the incident with the nurse practitioner she has gotten worse and depressed while last week I thought I could tell she was getting better I think I m having anxiety myself now I m feeling something odd in my chest I AM JUST WANTING MY SWEET SISTER BACK She was always visiting and doing things with my kids She has tons of friends She is shunning everyone She hardly talks to anyone especially now I am sorry this is so long I just felt it all was a piece of the puzZle May 30 2015 at 8 11 am 119105 polarmouse Participant I m not a physician and these opinions are based on my own diagnoses and treatment with BP disorder and observations over he years Dear formysister There is one big thing that is in your sisters favor she has you You are obviously very caring and although busy with your own life staying up on her illness and treatment Once she accepts her situation and becomes stable on meds your roll will lessen To your questions 1 Will she ever seem herself again With proper treatment including acceptant her situation which includes medication and therapy there is a good chance she will be a better her 2 How long before we can tell if the meds will work Most BP medication can take two to six weeks to take effect Often times it takes trial and error and different dosages and medication to get it just right 3 Is it likely she won t be able to hold down a job full time With treatment may people with BP can indeed work a job depending on what it is Very stressful jobs often trigger episodes and must be approached with care 4 Does she need talk therapy with a psych In my opinion absolutely A Phyciatrist is the best person to diagnoses and treat mental illness s A therapist was invaluable to me to learn how to deal with triggers understand my illness wasn t the end of my life and deal with issues that had resulted before I was diagnosed 5 Will someone tell me there s hope There is indeed hope I am diagnosed with BP2 and also grew up with a BP mom There has been steady advances in medication and treatment for this illness that have allowed for people with BP to live much better lives than when our moms were diagnosed 6 Is lamictal and latuda a good combination for treatment Yes both are good medications

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/needing-advice-3/ (2016-02-14)
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  • formysister | Activity Streams | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    reason I am writing is to prove to her that she has hope She has said more than once that this is just how I am I want so much for her to be happy again She has so many emotions and it is so very hard for her to plan anything around her illness She sees her Read more formysister replied to the topic bipolar or is divorce eminent in the forum bphope Forum Help Topics 2 months 2 weeks ago Thought of another thing my sister was fired from her job also and that s exactly when everything went downhill She was absolutely out of her mind formysister replied to the topic bipolar or is divorce eminent in the forum bphope Forum Help Topics 2 months 2 weeks ago Oh I knew my sister was bipolar and not in her right state of mind I struggled with her to get help for months She was very against help and thought she was okay After being on different meds for about a month she hugged me and thanked me for saving her life That day and her words made it all worth it It was so very hard but don t give up formysister replied to the topic bipolar or is divorce eminent in the forum bphope Forum Help Topics 2 months 2 weeks ago I am not an expert by no means and this is all new to me but I think she s out of her mind During my sisters worse times with bp she has no memory of things she did or said She has a lot of blank spots I think she needs committing to get her meds that will straighten her brain out I think you should get her help she is putting her life at Read more formysister started the topic What to Expect in the forum Living with Bipolar Disorder 2 months 2 weeks ago My sister was diagnosed in March She has tried several meds that all caused severe digestive problems Right now she is on 60mg of depakote and 40mg of viibyrd She still has obvious cycles that last about a week This week she is manic running around getting absolutely nothing accomplished Last week she was depressed extremely fatigued Read more formysister replied to the topic Needing Advice in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 8 months 2 weeks ago And I thought of another question When she s in sleep mode should I bother her It worries me so much that I bug her But I just want her up and doing something I feel she s sleeping her life away How should I handle that She wants me to let her stay in bed alone for days at a time I m honestly doing my best even if im clueless formysister replied to the topic Needing Advice in the forum Bipolar Support on Family and Friends 8 months 2 weeks ago Thank you so much

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  • Parents as triggers/dealing with BP2 - A Discussion About Bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    at this point My mother suffers from severe depression and an eating disorder She goes to therapy periodically and takes an antidepressant but there is no continuation of care She s gone through a couple of therapists in the past 6 years and she doesn t seem able to go consistently Needless to say my parents are major trigger points for me And I have a lot to set off severe depression anxiety disorder bipolar II and PTSD There is a strong argument for limiting my exposure to them altogether and their move to Arizona I live in Boston really helped to manage things But both my husband have been raised to put family above all else so they will be staying with us for a week when they visit the east coast next month My therapist and I are already preparing and I know that no matter how mindful I try to be its going to extoll a cost a big cost But I don t see anyway around it I want my kids to have the benefits of grandparents and they each have carefully managed relationships with them For example my son 12 is not allowed to go with my father without my husband or myself going along We try to be subtle about it and I m not sure if he s noticed My daughter 24 has learned to manage the relationships pretty well and takes her leave when things get to out of hand Anyway I guess the ask is is anyone else dealing with parents who are undiagnosed and or mentally ill How do you manage contact April 10 2015 at 6 33 pm 116600 polarmouse Participant I am also diagnosed with BP2 and grew up with a mom with BP1 When she was alive it was difficult for me to visit which caused those visits to become very infrequent as she and my father got older This is something I now regret as she died quite suddenly at 69 I know during those years it was necessary to limit my time with her since her negative behaviors as I grew up were debilitating to me Even the codependency exhibited by my father was hard for me to take I had to take care of my own mental health not only for myself but my family We all have to do what s best for us to maintain our mental health Is there any way they could stay in a local hotel while visiting Having them under the roof sounds like a lot of exposure especially for a week Perhaps you could plan some outings while they are visiting to keep everyone busy and out of the house Even a trip to the park for a picnic is a great way to let everyone visit but also out of the house Let your husband know that you understand the need to put family first but that he and your children are also a family unit

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/parents-as-triggersdealing-with-bp2/ (2016-02-14)
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