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  • Surrender, Acceptance and Living with Bipolar Disorder | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    area Karl serves on the Board of Directors for the Mental Health Association in New York State as well as the Erie County Mental Hygiene Services Board 4 COMMENTS harmon December 4 2015 Reply Karl Thank You for giving us this revealing story We can all benefit from your chronicles Cheryl December 5 2015 Reply Thank you for this post I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 20 years ago and to this day despite how my actions thoughts impulsiveness shows everyone around me something is wrong in my mind I m managing the disorder and doing a great job NOT I ve always been med compliant lots of therapy but I keep doing what I see others who do not demonstrate a mental disorder do I m a chameleon and boy it has been disastrous I m now faced with the reality of years of abuse neglect and lack of personal care Like you I m getting older and it is darn hard to admit there are things I can not do Which brings me to accepting my disease I don t want to I don t like being judged misunderstood goals set for me I know I can t handle living working in a less than supportive mental illness environment world I m struggling with acceptance and this helped Thank you Agaylia December 5 2015 Reply Congratulations on your success in spite of this illness I am very proud of you I d finished my bachelor s while working full time and starting graduate school when everything fell apart I had wanted to work as a counselor all of my life However I couldn t get the drive or motivation to finish it Suicide ideation had stolen so much from me I had to realize that where I was working wasn t good for my health any of it I blew up at a coworker Wrong things were going on and one day I just couldn t take it anymore I had to quit I like working even if I had to go hide in my car and try to relax for 30 minutes at lunch All I could think about was how the day would soon be over and I would get to melt in my bed I never should have stayed that long After two years I was realizing this but pushed even harder to get it done Then I couldnt I started working part time for a children shelter I applied for a CARS Counselor position but I never got to work with the kids Instead they had me teaching different classes and part time became full time with only part time pay It didn t last long I m not a teacher I just wanted to work as a counselor The job was terribly stressful and I had to let it go I had to face the facts This illness wasn t going anywhere I quit grad school I just wasn t the same anymore

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/blog/surrender-acceptance-and-living-with-bipolar-disorder/ (2016-02-14)
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  • Meds and Your Body | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    doing this job for 9yrs and have never had an issue in the past till May I am so confused and don t know where to turn anymore I have bi polar really want to lock my self in a closet but I have 3kids and one just had major Jaw surgery so it can t happen I am having g so many anxiety attacks I even had a sever panic attack and almost passed out while tending to her so yeah life is hard BT still fighting even though sometimes I don t want too my kids need me too Lena August 10 2015 Reply Zoloft gave me serotonin syndrome was awful and lamactil gave be 2cm lesions changed my blood count to the point where I had lympotosis and ended up having clinical aquired pneaumonia n my left lung collapsed n had bad aspiration of asthma not a good time in my life Louise August 11 2015 Reply I ve finally weaned off seroquel but it s a miracle I ve survived I ve lost a kidney my liver function is dangerously low I ve developed pancreatitis had 9 mini strokes gained over 80lbs in a year and had two bouts of pneumonia It was a year of the best mood stability I ve ever had but it wasn t worth it I may never regain my health and the withdrawal pain and anxiety was unbelievable I will definitely not just blindly take what the doctor suggests ever again I will research it well myself sunkitty13 August 11 2015 Reply lamictal made me binge eat thirty minutes after taking it and then I would throw up not on purpose Lithium stabilized my moods well but I kept getting severe migraines which would last for days and which would also make me constantly sick to my stomach Another drug in the early years of my diagnosis caused severe constipation I am unable to stop taking Paxil because it makes me have severe withdrawal symptoms even though it wasn t supposed to be addictive when I started taking it Therefore I do my research too so I don t end up being just another human guinea pig gudridur August 11 2015 Reply I m dealing with terrible pain and muscle spasms from Lamictal as I write I think the most frustrating aspect of the side effects presently is that I ve been off meds for 10 months no cycling I started the Lamictal as a future preventative measure Now I m facing more problems than I think the medication is worth My NP on the other hand isn t listening He wants me to stay on the low dose 25 mgs and build up a tolerance I can t help but see this approach as lacking insight into the stress that side effects cause and the possible resulting affective turbulence I once told a family member that I was concerned that the meds would eventually mean a premature death from kidney failure or liver damage Their response But at least you will have quality of life before you die I don t think outsiders realize that statements such as this are entirely selfish No you just won t have to deal with my cycling and obviously my affective disorder is all about you Andrea August 11 2015 Reply Im bipolAr Im on seroquel trazadone effecermetformin glyubride and Others I m doing good diabetes got All that after quitting drug s Andalcohol hubby too has athsma diabetes Parkinson and others to both of us are struggling quit using same time beens through evthingitogether going to college to mental health classes doing good family friends working on that forever till then Tessa September 11 2015 Reply I take very large amounts of medication and have taken them so long that I don t know know whether my issues are completely side effects or just ageing I have weight issues tiredness so libido etc but after having such severe bipolar 1 and extreme manic episodes I eventually decided I would rather just live with these medication issues than be ill again which seems to be the worst of both evils For years I would try and reduce my high dosages but that would just result in an episode and when I changed psychiatrists my extremely highly qualified doctor said to me if it s working and you can live with it then it s time to accept that you need these doses I realised he was right So while I don t like taking large amounts of medication having manic episodes are a hell of a lot worse Allison Strong October 8 2015 Reply Tardive Dyskinesia from 8 years of high doses of antipsychotics I had no idea of the risk Nami is saying that for each year we take them it s 5 After a decade they are saying 30 50 I think those numbers are high I had to ditch one med try a bunch of things and after three years I ended up on an early atypical antipsychotic the same class that can be causal None of it makes sense Also second worse is the march towards diabetes metabolic syndrome from the same med that controls the Tardive Hey it could be worse I could have organ failure like one brilliant bipolar writer just shared about in the New York Times Magazine Lucky for me I dodged that bullet Dionne January 16 2016 Reply Risperdal gave me eye twitches but worked well It got to a point where it was obvious and made me anxious in professional settings Switched to Lamictal which I have been on about 5yrs with no side effects but weight gain Family doctor put me on an appetite suppressant recently to address it Lost 10lbs in 2 weeks but my heart rate was through the roof so I quit that My new NP put me on Seroquel and Nuerontin for anxiety and insomnia I became constipated

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/blog/meds-and-your-body/ (2016-02-14)
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  • Bipolar on the Job (Part 1) | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    Directors for the Mental Health Association in New York State as well as the Erie County Mental Hygiene Services Board 11 COMMENTS Diane July 17 2015 Reply I really want to work but I am still trying to get my medication regulated and I m having an incredibly hard time with the problems associated with losing my really good job due to a fairly long manic episode I have since applied for disability and along the way I ve tried to do part time jobs but was unable to do those also I m stuck between losing my house and car while waiting for disability or returning to work and risking a return to manic or depressive episode Karl July 18 2015 Reply It is so frustrating to be caught up in the process of applying for disability I had to do that early in my recovery But what I eventually realized was that with time I could return to work albeit slowly For me the key was in knowing my own limitations around what I could and could not do I wish you all the best Be strong Kimberly July 17 2015 Reply Good luck on your journey kat July 17 2015 Reply My husband and I cycled totally together and are now in that same boat with 5 kids to care for It s terrifying the minute I open my eyes from sleeping and realizing this is our reality I don t know how to get out alive anymore We are sinking without any rope Carol July 31 2015 Reply Kat that is scary Can family and friends provide some respite care It is important to get help now Kimberly July 17 2015 Reply Hang in there Beth July 18 2015 Reply I have the most fantastic job as an activities coordinator at a mental health community center so I am very fortunate that if I do get ill which hasn t happened in awhile they understand Karl July 18 2015 Reply That s wonderful Beth Having a supportive employer can make a huge difference Nice to see that you are giving back Heather July 27 2015 Reply That s just it I don t think my employer would understand or care Its an extremely dysfunctional environment that I m trying to get out of sanely i e have another job before I quit this one I struggle daily hourly with the question do I tell my next employer that I have bipolar 2 disorder What will it really get me I m currently on an attendance remediation program and no one cared to ask me what the problem is I ve been hiding all these years because I thought me and my meds had it under control Since having to change cocktails thanks insurance company not life has been very difficult at work I m also afraid that they will fire me if I tell them yes I know that s against the law but they are

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-on-the-job-part-1/ (2016-02-14)
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  • My need for medication | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    higher power For more from Keith click here Tagged with Bipolar Disorder faith medication Paranoia support wellness About the author Keith O Neil Has 3 Articles Keith O Neil is a former NFL football player having played for the Dallas Cowboys Indianapolis Colts and New York Giants During his professional career he served as team captain and was a member of the Colts Super Bowl XLI Championship team Keith is currently writing a book and speaking to audiences in the sports faith and mental health communities Keith is also the President and Founder of the 4th and Forever Foundation which brings awareness to mental health and funds research for mental illness Keith played in the NFL with the undiagnosed mental illness bipolar disorder and is extremely passionate about helping others who suffer with mental health issues He is devoted to erasing the stigma of mental illness in our society through his own personal experience He is utilizing his book along with motivational speaking engagements to create awareness of mental illness To read Keith s cover story on bp Magazine s Spring 2014 edition click here http www bphope com keith oneil game plan 9 COMMENTS Queenly May 23 2015 Reply So glad to have read something on this site with the name of Jesus I will tell you that with Jesus there is hope and I am living life well without meds for 24 years I have been set free and delivered from Bipolar Knittiot May 23 2015 Reply I am 64 diagnosed with bipolar rapid cycler psychotic features and PTSD since I was 41 but actually have been bipolar since at least age 14 and my first suicide attempt Two years ago I flipped into mania My psychiatrist put me on Seroquel However rather than only keeping me on it for 2 4 days she said to stay on it Being a compliant patient I did Soon I began having severe full body convulsions for hours at a time numerous times a day and night that left me tired sore and many times in pain She denied it was the Seroquel Fast forward eighteen months and my Neurologist took me off the Seroquel Seizures were mostly gone within two days However I then became familiar with the term after effect My tongue constantly moves I have the equivalent of sticky wallpaper paste in my mouth it s difficult to talk AND I aspirate and choke It is called Tardive Dyskinesia if you want to look it up katia November 3 2015 Reply Dear Knittlot I don t say this too often but I will pray for you I know God can heal you I have more faith for you than I have for myself The doctors are very hard to trust Your letter has made me want to give my life back to God I started to get what you have I was lucky but all of us are in danger of this after effect with all of the drugs we are taking Thank you for sharing Katia Lili May 24 2015 Reply Hola Keith Quiero felicitarte por todo lo que estas haciendo y por el ánimo que tienes como la enfermedad no te limita para seguir cumpliendo tus sueños Yo también estoy diagnosticada con trastorno bipolar y me da mucho gusto conocer personas como tu Amy June 13 2015 Reply Reading this story and all of the others posted on this site really hits home with me on every single level For years I just thought that the way I thought I way I acted and the way I respond to medicines was only happening to me that I was an odd ball These stories and blogs have shown me I m not the only person who feels this way The advice given by fellow BiPolar sufferers has helped me immensely I ve even shared many articles stories from here with my sister to try and help her better understand what I go through why I act react to certain situations and what I m thinking A big Thank you to this site and all of it s contributors Finn August 18 2015 Reply I very much feel the same way I was diagnosed this year and have been playing the medication roulette for much of the year I ve been hospitalized twice since April and I m surprisingly still functioning The only thing about your blog that got me I am Bipolar II and I am an open atheist I personally have no belief in a higher power since I was forced to read the Bible including the parts in Greek growing up I don t believe that my illness is due to some higher power s sick and twisted ways nor that some higher power can take away something they created If this being is infallible then why do we have this illness and have to take medication to manage it katia November 3 2015 Reply Hi Finn I don t know the answer to your question but al I can do is tell you my experience My disease of Bipolar gets worse when I am stressed If I purpose to have faith in something bigger than myself I relax because to tell you the truth I can t do it myself it s too much The medications make me sick and they don t work for me I ve tried all of them the last 11 years I have been wondering about letting God back in my life No I don t go to church it s something personal for me not a doctrine or formula When I did let Him into my life before I didn t have the symptoms I have now The despair I m hoping it works your letter has triggered a decision Also I watched an Oprah special where she told her life story it was a turning point for me Good Luck to you or God Bless or Whatever

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/blog/my-need-for-medication/ (2016-02-14)
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  • Go, Fight, Win! Fighting for Your Meds | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    corporate America Wendy wrote her memoir of honesty and hope entitled I m Not Crazy Just Bipolar She co wrote her second book Two Bipolar Chicks Guide to Survival Tips for Living With Bipolar Disorder with author Honora Rose Wendy writes for BPHope com and The Huffington Post She has written for BP Magazine Bipolar Disorder for Dummies 2nd Edition and The Two River Times Her book has been reviewed by Publisher s Weekly and National Alliance on Mental Illness The Advocate Wendy is the founder of The Red Bank Writers Group and has been interviewed on over forty radio stations worldwide She can be followed on Twitter at bipolarwendy and 2bipolarchicks Wendy lives in NJ burning out laptops to stay sane www wendykwilliamson com www twobipolarchicks com 10 COMMENTS Ruth M February 4 2015 Reply Thank goodness I have Bipolar in the UK if I were ill I could not fight for drugs You are all amazing Ruth M February 4 2015 Reply I am so glad I live in the UK When ill I cannot leave the house let alone fight for my meds wendywilliamson March 13 2015 Reply Report user That s a good point For the leaving the house part we do have a pharmacy that delivers for a fee Luckily so far this year one of us has been able to manage to go the five blocks As far as fighting it can be a daunting task When I m depressed I get help I do wish I lived in the UK and didn t have to deal with it Quite a fight here for what you need wendywilliamson July 3 2015 Reply Report user You are very lucky I hear the NHS is exceptional for people with mental illness Micki February 4 2015 Reply It never occurred to me that taking generic meds could make a difference in your treatment I ll definitely have to do more research into that My husband has reached a treatment resistant point and his doctor is baffled as to what to do next He s been on every med that we can think of and nothing is working for his mania wendywilliamson March 22 2015 Reply Report user Generics can be so very tricky My psychiatrist just told me one manufacturer produces them in 40 countries and that it is hard to maintain quality control See who the manufacturer is My friend who is a pharmaceutical rep insists some are better than others too and will not let her family take certain ones Also just because he has reacted poorly to one generic or a few does not mean he will to all however there are some medications he may need the brand for For example while my fiance is fine on most generics I am more sensitive and will tank on two medications if they are not brand I know for this reason that no two people or two generics are alike Your husband may want to try a brand though more expensive or a different generic manufacturer a try Remember to do this one at a time if he has problems with several of his medications As in science classes if you change all variables in an equation or multiple ones at the same time you won t get to the bottom of your answer you won t be able to isolate what med is causing the change Another piece of advice make sure you are documenting the changes and making notes of dates and names of the names of the generic manufacturers you re trying They are found on the bottom right or left hand corner of your label No matter what it is on there somewhere Of course if he tries a brand make notes on that too My mom took excellent notes along with my psychiatrist and together we all found the right solution She was the note taker of my symptoms and start dates and details of the meds One last tip I have found a better quality generic at the Mom and Pop family type pharmacies than the big chains They are also more apt to custom order a particular generic manufacturer if he responds well to it Chains I ve found aren t usually willing to I tried and they re usually too busy although I did find one willing to They had a couple suppliers When I asked my pharmacist at the chain I used to go to what generic manufacturer I would be refilled with i e would it be the same he responded I don t know It s whatever rolls off the truck that day The new pharmacy I go to has had the same generic manufacturer the entire time I ve been there That s why I like the family pharmacies Good luck Thomas April 7 2015 Reply What about the downside of long term use of medications like Seroquel and Klonopin then pile an Anti depressant Med on top of that I know people on 4 5 6 meds ever try and DETOX from a powerful Anti Psychotic med like Seroquel It is an experience of pure agony for months and months If the meds are needed because of severe Bipolar 1 that is one matter but in my case and many others I read about in forums chat rooms and blogs many people have BP2 and are highly over medicated Then as the years go by the meds become less effective and begin to turn on your Mind and Body What do you do then Especially when everyone like your spouse doctor and others in your life are demanding you keep taking the meds even though you are becoming mentally and physically sicker and sicker Keep drugging or find another way wendywilliamson July 3 2015 Reply Report user yes generics have all different manufacturers and can either work or not work for a patient Some people are medication resistant the percentage I have

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/blog/go-fight-win-fighting-for-your-meds/ (2016-02-14)
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  • Do you take Extended Release | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    addition Chato does an annual Cartoon A Thon for Mental Health Awareness Month drawing Caricatures of his reader His mission is to use humor as a positive tool to cope with the serious and debilitating effects of mental illness To learn more about Chato visit his website 1 COMMENT audrey May 22 2015 Reply I was taking just the plain jane Lithium but in January I started Lithium ER Before I started the ER form of Lithium I was Suicidal ALL the time since then I have been stable I dont think I have any cons about Lithium ER LEAVE YOUR COMMENT Cancel reply Your email address will not be published Required fields are marked Message First Name or Nickname Do not use full name Email RELATED ARTICLES Hope Harmony Headlines Reset Your Eating Habits Bite By Bite January 20 2016 2 05 pm Tackling Our Eating Habits GIGO Recognize the acronym It s an oldie but goodie and one worth reviving as you aim for a healthier you in the Looking for Motivation Enjoying the Task at Hand Will Matter Once You Start January 20 2016 11 13 am From the gym to the office sticking to your plan may require thinking about the experience when planning Newswise Plenty of well intentioned exercisers select What s your Bipolar number January 20 2016 12 01 am When I hit the big 30 I thought my life was over Unmarried childless and hellishly depressed Of course I didn t know I had bipolar at New Year New Care January 9 2016 1 01 am It s that time of year again when after signing up new health insurance plans in the US have some of us seeking new health care providers CURRENT ISSUE Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am Summer 2015 MARY LAMBERT SPREADING THE LOVE By Stephanie Stephens Singer songwriter Mary Lambert puts it all out there in her hit Secrets and she lives the Read more April 1 2015 11 37 am Spring 2015 TAME YOUR TRIGGERS By Robin L Flanigan From major life events to emotional patterns we all have stressors that are likely to spark Read more January 1 2015 5 36 am Winter 2015 OUR LEADING LADY CARRIE FISHER By Stephanie Stephens Carrie Fisher is returning as Princess Leia in a new Star Wars movie but she s always been Read more SoundOFF YOU YOUR PSYCHIATRIST The relationship between you and your psychiatrist can influence your recovery What qualities do you think are important in a psychiatrist In what ways has your doctor helped you the most Click here to reply CURRENT RESEARCH The Prechter Fund s Fight to Cure Bipolar Disorder 1 28 2016 Brain connectivity outweighs genetics 1 27 2016 Heinz C Prechter Bipolar Research Fund 1

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  • SOUNDOFF! Older with bipolar | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    life was all about me at that age A Highland Village TX My diagnosis of bipolar came at the age of 53 For several years I struggled to maintain stability and carry on a normal life while medications were being tried and eliminated Now at 60 I can say that my life experiences contribute in a positive manner to my daily well being I know that I must care for myself first I have acquired some spiritual wisdom over time and know that I must always be doing my utmost to release negative energy live in the now and create my own happiness I only wish I had known these things 30 years ago M F Kingston ON I have learned over the years what my triggers are and how to cope Being in a supportive and strong marriage with my husband helps tremendously as well as the support of my family and friends I know now that asking for help is extremely important it doesn t make you weak I have also learned that you need to be honest with yourself your doctor and all those close to you if you want to start the recovery process Going through the difficult times has helped me to appreciate and cherish the happy times in my life My psychiatrist says Don t fast forward the tape just live in the moment Life is good and if you are struggling right now know that things can get better However you must seek help and surround yourself with a strong support group You cannot do it alone S H Bothell WA I ve struggled with bipolar for many years both before and after diagnosis Life experiences have better enabled me to live with the challenges of this disorder in many ways First I had to learn that it really is better to take your meds accompanied by the greater realization that I do have control over this illness I can also do other things that will help me personally such as having routine sleep and exercise patterns and regulating my diet Further I have learned to recognize triggers to my episodic behaviors and can avoid the person place or thing that might precipitate it Little things do matter because one can keep them from becoming a big thing like a hospitalization What matters most however is realizing that I have control of some things and that s where I need to focus And it gives me hope because my actions make a difference I also found that bipolar symptoms can t be hidden from a loved one Rather loved ones need to be educated on how to help you and them when necessary M F White Bluff TN Yes I think that I finally have this illness in check I have matured and know what actions I need to take when I feel the symptoms coming on When bipolar acts up unpredictably I can usually do what needs to be done to minimize

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  • A New Yorker’s state of mind: The creativity question | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    filled a prescription for a mood stabilizer would there still be a Starry Night After an insane episode in Barnes Noble spring of 96 I went back to the doctor got a new prescription and started taking the pills immediately right outside the pharmacy in the middle of 27th Street And I haven t stopped taking them since I ve had a few relapses since then Some highs Mainly depression And there have been quite a few psychologists and psychiatrists who ve tried to fix me over the years with their different medicine regimens but somehow I ve managed to stay out of the hospital not that there s anything wrong with a little rest and reset time I know it s because I still take my meds religiously every morning and night And it s because I have finally found the right doctor who can help me She has forty years experience treating manic depression she s constantly learning about the latest breakthroughs in psychopharmacology And she really cares about her patients I ll be honest sometimes I question if my meds do affect the artistic part of my brain I wonder if I m as creative or as passionate as I would ve been without them But then I step back take a good look at my most inspired works of art that I ve created in collaboration with my wife and I smile They re beautiful They laugh They glow Our children are our forever works in progress Made with love Tagged with Creativity About the author Bruce Goldstein Has 58 Articles Bruce Goldstein is an author speaker screenwriter and madman of Madison Avenue His first book Puppy Chow is Better than Prozac The true story of a man and the dog who saved his life was a bestseller on Amazon and received praise in publications such as Publisher s Weekly Library Journal and The Boston Globe Goldstein has appeared on Martha Stewart Living and the Morning Show on Fox Bruce can also be seen on Bipolar TV Webmd com discussing pet therapy for bipolar disorder and was this year s Key Note Speaker at the Many Faces of Mental Illness conference Bruce currently writes a column in BP called A New Yorker s State of Mind and freelances as a copywriter in advertising He received a B F A in Advertising Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology in 1992 and lives in Manhattan with his wife and daughter 1 COMMENT marx13 August 23 2015 Reply Creativity is something that should be nutured My productivity has been questioned at work I have been told to focus be more accurate be more task orientated My Doctors are appointing a worker I am getting a Holistic Assessment It has taken me 18mths to get to this point post last depressive phase LEAVE YOUR COMMENT Cancel reply Your email address will not be published Required fields are marked Message First Name or Nickname Do not use full name Email

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