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  • Mantras, Grattitude and Me | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    patch was a decade ago Wendy Snap out of it Enough already You see when my brain is spinning or slipping forget about control let alone gratitude that is the last emotion I am feeling It is sink or swim fight or flight Gratitude comes later once balance is restored When stress gets thrown in to the mix oh boy that s like throwing gasoline onto a bonfire Watch exhaustion and insanity result and how long it takes for the fire to extinguish A new wellness tip I use are my tiny mantras They litter my desk and walls and when I get tired of them they get replaced I look at them and for a few minutes I have a little balance Do you use mantras How do remember to stay grateful www twobipolarchicks com About the author Wendy K Williamson Has 32 Articles Wendy Williamson had her first manic episode while studying at Virginia Tech eight weeks before graduation It was then she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type I After being downsized from corporate America Wendy wrote her memoir of honesty and hope entitled I m Not Crazy Just Bipolar She co wrote her second book Two Bipolar Chicks Guide to Survival Tips for Living With Bipolar Disorder with author Honora Rose Wendy writes for BPHope com and The Huffington Post She has written for BP Magazine Bipolar Disorder for Dummies 2nd Edition and The Two River Times Her book has been reviewed by Publisher s Weekly and National Alliance on Mental Illness The Advocate Wendy is the founder of The Red Bank Writers Group and has been interviewed on over forty radio stations worldwide She can be followed on Twitter at bipolarwendy and 2bipolarchicks Wendy lives in NJ burning out laptops to stay sane www wendykwilliamson com www twobipolarchicks com LEAVE YOUR COMMENT Cancel reply Your email address will not be published Required fields are marked Message First Name or Nickname Do not use full name Email CURRENT ISSUE Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am Summer 2015 MARY LAMBERT SPREADING THE LOVE By Stephanie Stephens Singer songwriter Mary Lambert puts it all out there in her hit Secrets and she lives the Read more April 1 2015 11 37 am Spring 2015 TAME YOUR TRIGGERS By Robin L Flanigan From major life events to emotional patterns we all have stressors that are likely to spark Read more January 1 2015 5 36 am Winter 2015 OUR LEADING LADY CARRIE FISHER By Stephanie Stephens Carrie Fisher is returning as Princess Leia in a new Star Wars movie but she s always been Read more SoundOFF YOU YOUR PSYCHIATRIST The relationship between you and your psychiatrist can influence your recovery What qualities do you think are important in a psychiatrist In

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  • Pain in the neck! | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    advocate If you are having difficulty navigating the healthcare path perhaps a friend or family member can join you on your visit to a healthcare provider There are national organization that assist with patient advocacy And many healthcare systems off in house advocates or peer support specialists to assist you in getting your needs and concerns are met Do you have experience living with chronic pain Please share with us in the space below Tagged with advocacy Asking Questions Jon Press Pain Management wellness About the author Jon Press Has 81 Articles Jon Press is a husband and father living in the Chicago suburbs He holds a BA in Religion an MA in Christian Education is certified in Mental Health First Aid and has taken several graduate level courses towards a Masters degree in Community Counseling He was first diagnosed with Bipolar I in college 1989 After many seasons of depression and hypo mania his diagnosis was later revised to Bipolar II 2002 Following a hospitalization in 2010 he became fiercely committed to his own recovery and to connecting with others in the bp community Jon was featured on the This is Me page in the 2012 Winter Edition of bp Magazine He facilitates a depression bipolar and anxiety support group in the Chicago area called Fresh Hope He is delighted to be a part of the bphope blogging team In sharing personal stories and experiences his goal is to foster community by challenging educating and inspiring positive change LEAVE YOUR COMMENT Cancel reply Your email address will not be published Required fields are marked Message First Name or Nickname Do not use full name Email RELATED ARTICLES Discovering Your Healthy Self in 2016 January 6 2016 12 01 am Another year another resolution Was your new year s resolution this year to lose weight If so you find yourself in a similar predicament to many Bipolar giving up not giving in August 17 2015 12 58 pm Bipolar disorder management is trigger management Achieving and maintaining stability is about stopping triggers even when it makes no sense that they even are triggers Coming to terms with my bipolar and asking for help August 12 2015 12 01 am The art of asking for and accepting help Now that you ve come to terms with your diagnosis it s time to tackle understand how to ask Family and Friends Make a Difference in Our Journey to Wellness August 9 2015 6 55 am Let s be honest when you and I people who have bipolar disorder have family and friends who are supportive and understanding we do better in CURRENT ISSUE Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am Summer 2015 MARY LAMBERT SPREADING THE LOVE By Stephanie Stephens Singer songwriter Mary Lambert puts it

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  • College Bound | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    now I may have fared better On the other hand perhaps I was predisposed with Bipolar Disorder and it may not have made a difference In the end I feel fortunate to be able to look back and use my experience to help others So if you re a student or parent know that there is hope and a way to make the college experience a positive one Tagged with Active Minds Bipolar and Suicide Bipolar Disorder college students Half of Us Jed Foundation Karl Shallowhorn Love is Louder NAMI on Campus Strength of Us Transition Year ULifeline About the author Karl Shallowhorn Has 147 Articles Karl Shallowhorn is the Director of Community Advocacy for the Mental Health Association of Erie County and Compeer of Greater Buffalo He is a New York State Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor and has worked in both the addictions and mental health fields Karl is the author of Working on Wellness A Practical Guide to Mental Health 2010 Chipmunka Publishing Karl is a certified Mental Health First Aid Instructor He also works as a mental health consultant and has provided a variety of workplace wellness seminars for businesses and organizations in the Western New York area Karl serves on the Board of Directors for the Mental Health Association in New York State as well as the Erie County Mental Hygiene Services Board LEAVE YOUR COMMENT Cancel reply Your email address will not be published Required fields are marked Message First Name or Nickname Do not use full name Email RELATED ARTICLES Radio Show Start Talking Speak Up About Mental Health Listen Live Here February 10 2016 12 01 am When families learn someone they love suffers from a mental illness it can be an agonizing wake up call That s because most illnesses do not come Bipolar Disorder Demanding Better Care February 5 2016 12 01 am It s been nine years since my late husband David s body was found He d disappeared six weeks earlier in one of the most beautiful and rugged Clinical Pearls Self Care and Managing Bipolar Disorder February 3 2016 12 01 am One of the things I have been focused on in the last few months has been really trying to take care of myself This has Bipolar Letting Love In February 2 2016 12 01 am Several years ago I made the decision to choose God in my life I accepted Jesus had a water baptism and felt ready to put CURRENT ISSUE Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am Summer 2015 MARY LAMBERT SPREADING THE LOVE By Stephanie Stephens Singer songwriter Mary Lambert puts it all out there in her hit Secrets and she lives the Read more April 1 2015 11 37 am Spring 2015 TAME YOUR

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  • Ben Behind His Voices: A Review | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    and I have to say that this was one of the best Randye is a great storyteller While the book begins and ends in the present it is open ended with the future of Ben still to unfold I highly recommend this book and give it five stars What books have you read on mental illness that you ve appreciated Tagged with Karl Shallowhorn mental illness NAMI Randye Kaye recovery Schizophrenia About the author Karl Shallowhorn Has 147 Articles Karl Shallowhorn is the Director of Community Advocacy for the Mental Health Association of Erie County and Compeer of Greater Buffalo He is a New York State Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor and has worked in both the addictions and mental health fields Karl is the author of Working on Wellness A Practical Guide to Mental Health 2010 Chipmunka Publishing Karl is a certified Mental Health First Aid Instructor He also works as a mental health consultant and has provided a variety of workplace wellness seminars for businesses and organizations in the Western New York area Karl serves on the Board of Directors for the Mental Health Association in New York State as well as the Erie County Mental Hygiene Services Board LEAVE YOUR COMMENT Cancel reply Your email address will not be published Required fields are marked Message First Name or Nickname Do not use full name Email RELATED ARTICLES Bipolar Disorder Demanding Better Care February 5 2016 12 01 am It s been nine years since my late husband David s body was found He d disappeared six weeks earlier in one of the most beautiful and rugged New Year Sane me January 29 2016 2 00 am I m cured I don t mean to brag at all But if this is what recovery is then I swear that I am drenched in recovery The Journey Continues January 29 2016 12 01 am It s with mixed emotions that I m announcing that this will be my final BP blog post Writing for BP over the last 3 ½ years Bipolar the Monkey Mind and Meditation January 16 2016 8 33 pm I m back after a brief hiatus I needed a little time to take a break during the holiday season It s been very beneficial and the CURRENT ISSUE Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am Summer 2015 MARY LAMBERT SPREADING THE LOVE By Stephanie Stephens Singer songwriter Mary Lambert puts it all out there in her hit Secrets and she lives the Read more April 1 2015 11 37 am Spring 2015 TAME YOUR TRIGGERS By Robin L Flanigan From major life events to emotional patterns we all have stressors that are likely to spark Read more January 1 2015 5 36 am Winter 2015 OUR LEADING LADY

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  • Bipolar Disorder In Students | bpHope - bp Magazine Community - Part 3
    00 am It s not easy to become a pharmacist It requires just as much schooling as becoming a medical doctor in the US and it s a highly Read more Our Strengths By Beth Brownsberger Mader October 26 2013 12 04 am I was recently talking to a close friend about the burden of having bipolar I was going on about how having bipolar can feel like Read more Sick of talking about it By Jon Press August 13 2013 12 00 am Sometimes I get tired of talking about bipolar disorder And I wonder if my friends online and in real life get tired of hearing about Read more To Lie or Not to Lie By Melody Moezzi August 12 2013 12 00 am Last week I wrote an editorial for The New York Times entitled Lawyers of Sound Mind wherein I questioned the legality and ethics behind asking mental health related questions Read more In the Wake of Suicide By Melody Moezzi July 29 2013 12 00 am Losing a loved one to suicide carries a matchless suffering and only those who ve experienced it can ever know what it s like Loss is always Read more To Medicate or Not to Medicate By Melody Moezzi June 24 2013 12 00 am I recently heard a fellow mental health advocate with bipolar I let s call him Joe say that he had been drug free for over 20 years Read more Stronger Together By Melody Moezzi June 17 2013 12 00 am This past weekend I had the privilege of attending the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance 2013 National Conference Stronger Together in Miami It was the first Read more PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 NEXT CURRENT ISSUE Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am Summer 2015 MARY LAMBERT SPREADING THE LOVE By Stephanie Stephens Singer songwriter Mary Lambert puts it all out there in her hit Secrets and she lives the Read more April 1 2015 11 37 am Spring 2015 TAME YOUR TRIGGERS By Robin L Flanigan From major life events to emotional patterns we all have stressors that are likely to spark Read more January 1 2015 5 36 am Winter 2015 OUR LEADING LADY CARRIE FISHER By Stephanie Stephens Carrie Fisher is returning as Princess Leia in a new Star Wars movie but she s always been Read more SoundOFF YOU YOUR PSYCHIATRIST The relationship between you and your psychiatrist can influence your recovery What qualities do you think are important in a psychiatrist In what ways has your doctor helped you the most Click here to reply CURRENT RESEARCH The Prechter Fund s Fight to Cure Bipolar Disorder 1 28 2016 Brain connectivity outweighs genetics 1 27 2016 Heinz C Prechter Bipolar Research Fund 1 25

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  • Bipolar Disorder In Students | bpHope - bp Magazine Community - Part 4
    your bipolar disorder PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 Why I got LASIK By Melody Moezzi May 27 2013 12 00 am At 15 I got my first pair of glasses They changed my life I had no idea how bad my vision was before hooking those Read more A Message from Your Friendly Neighborhood Estate Lawyer By Melody Moezzi April 15 2013 12 00 am Shortly after graduating law school I took a job as an estate attorney It wasn t a particularly exciting gig but I did learn an important Read more You have a story to tell By Jon Press March 26 2013 12 00 am Your story is important because it is yours It s unique and inspiring and nobody can tell it better than you Have you ever considered yourself Read more PREVIOUS 1 2 3 4 CURRENT ISSUE Recent Issues October 1 2015 11 50 am Fall 2015 BIPOLAR DEPRESSION Letting the light in By Robin L Flanigan Strategies to dispel the darkness of bipolar depression starting with the good enough theory taking Read more August 3 2015 9 12 am Summer 2015 MARY LAMBERT SPREADING THE LOVE By Stephanie Stephens Singer songwriter Mary Lambert puts it all out there in her hit Secrets and she lives the Read more April 1 2015 11 37 am Spring 2015 TAME YOUR TRIGGERS By Robin L Flanigan From major life events to emotional patterns we all have stressors that are likely to spark Read more January 1 2015 5 36 am Winter 2015 OUR LEADING LADY CARRIE FISHER By Stephanie Stephens Carrie Fisher is returning as Princess Leia in a new Star Wars movie but she s always been Read more SoundOFF YOU YOUR PSYCHIATRIST The relationship between you and your psychiatrist can influence your recovery What qualities do you think are important in a psychiatrist In what ways has your doctor helped you the most Click here to reply CURRENT RESEARCH The Prechter Fund s Fight to Cure Bipolar Disorder 1 28 2016 Brain connectivity outweighs genetics 1 27 2016 Heinz C Prechter Bipolar Research Fund 1 25 2016 Looking for Motivation Enjoying the Task at Hand Will Matter Once You Start 1 20 2016 Immune cells linked to bipolar symptoms 1 11 2016 CONNECT Letter to the Editor Write to us SoundOFF Question On My Mind Write an essay Talk to bp Writers Forum Join our community Blog Read and comment Home About Us Privacy Forum Professional Writers Advertising Contact Us Partners Page Cart Subscribe Back to Top Copyright 2015 BpHope All Rights Reserved Newsletter Signup Hope Harmony Headlines is bp Magazine s e newsletter offering the latest research news healthy lifestyle features and inspirational profiles for our bipolar community If you are a human and are seeing this field please leave it blank Fields marked with a are required Afghanistan Albania Algeria American Samoa Andorra Angola Anguilla Antarctica Antigua And Barbuda Argentina Armenia Aruba Australia Austria Azerbaijan Bahamas Bahrain Bangladesh Barbados Belarus Belgium Belize

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  • Partners for life | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    and pretty much afraid that that might be it says Mark 37 who recently got a job as an addiction counselor for the Social Rehabilitation Program of the Canadian Mental Health Association Based on past experience I would meet somebody and start liking them spend some time with them he says Then they d find out I have bipolar and they d split But Jody 46 didn t flinch I m pretty open minded she says adding that she d already looked past Mark s earring tattoos and wild way of dressing I decided not to judge a book by its cover I believe Jody made a point not to argue with me as she felt that would be pointless when I was hypomanic During the three years they ve been together Mark has showed only mild symptoms of mania or depression He attributes this to the fact that his and Jody s primary focus as a couple is their mutual and personal wellness The couple who live in Ontario exercise daily at the gym and eat only natural foods They also get plenty of sleep and have cut out all alcohol and cigarettes Mark s illness has become a secondary issue to the benefits they both get from living a healthy lifestyle We just focus on that wellness Jody says Wellness of mind body and spirit That doesn t mean it s always easy There are times when Mark suffers from anxiety as when he was interviewing for his current job Mark says he felt comfortable talking to Jody about it but then she gave me my space when I needed it and rest when I needed it I believe Jody made a point not to argue with me as she felt that would be pointless when I was hypomanic he recalls In other words she backed down She may have lost the battle but in the end she won the war because the situation wasn t escalated out of control Mark says that part of his commitment to Jody entails doing everything he can to stay well From my end I slept when I needed and disciplined myself to get up when I felt I should he says I also saw my doctor and had him tweak my medication to suit my needs at the time The couple recently celebrated their first wedding anniversary It does occur to me that I could get ill manic depressed or hypo manic for an extended period of time and that could cause problems in my marriage Mark says However I have a good understanding of my condition and take excellent care of myself today perhaps better than some who do not have bipolar Mark attributes his wellness in recent years to the love that he and Jody share I would have a much more difficult time without her he says She gives me a reason to work my hardest and to overcome this illness Julie and Daniel Daniel 49 admits he s never been one of those touchy feely kind of guys When it comes to expressing his feelings he d usually rather not But a few years ago that changed Daniel s wife Julie 47 who has bipolar disorder was lost in a depressive state And Daniel after months of frustration and fear finally decided to speak his truth I had to tell her I ve been cutting you a lot of slack lately but I m suffering in this relationship Daniel recalls telling Julie I ve kept this inside for a long time but I m dying on the vine here The Portland Oregon couple have faced many challenges since Julie began showing symptoms of bipolar disorder more than a decade ago She was diagnosed in 2001 after several years of unsuccessful treatment for anxiety and depression But even with proper treatment Julie still struggles often finding herself stuck in either a hypomanic state chatty hyper and angry or a depression that zaps her energy and makes it difficult for her to get out of bed The first couple of times Daniel told me my illness was hurting him it would make me feel really guilty Julie says like I was a bad person a complete screw up But as I gained more insight into the disorder therapy talking about it and living right I was able to take it in better Julie attributes the continued success of her and Daniel s 24 year marriage to her husband s newfound voice It s important that the person who doesn t have the illness feels that they can express their feelings too Julie says Mental illness can make you very selfish without your even realizing it The real bottom line is you have to decide that you want this relationship to work One of the most important things the Williamses have learned is to recognize the symptoms of Julie s illness and respond to them clinically rather than emotionally For example Daniel tries not to internalize the hurtful things Julie often says while in a hypomanic state Julie on the other hand tries to forgive herself when she does When I become really really really vicious he gets his feelings hurt she says Then he expresses that to me Then I feel just like the worst person on the planet The truth of her husband s heart shines through when he s the one who s hurt but he turns and comforts me because Daniel knows I hate myself when I hurt someone s feelings Daniel says his and Julie s communication skills are still evolving I don t want it to sound like I m some kind of saint or something he says The first few times I told her how I was feeling were not pretty I wasn t a happy camper But I soon realized that getting all angry and worked up was not going to solve the situation It s just going to make Julie suck it up and act like it s better when it s not I didn t want that either Julie says she still has to work at not instantly turning to guilt and self loathing when Daniel expresses his needs Now Daniel can say something to me and I listen she says I m not saying I won t feel bad but I don t have a complete breakdown I tell myself It s not your fault You re not doing this because you re a bad person Daniel is just saying that to you because he s a real person with real needs too I talk myself through it and I m okay Rather than focus on the illness and what separates them the Williamses say they have learned to focus on what they share their three cats their love of the Oregon Symphony long walks in the woods behind their home The real bottom line is you have to decide that you want this relationship to work Daniel says You start looking for ways to make it work Tagged with family issues family support Marriage About the author Michelle Roberts Has 17 Articles Michelle Roberts a recipient of the Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism lives in St Louis Missouri 11 COMMENTS doug February 2 2015 Reply A brief history of a 30 year marriage Major events i recall We moved in together 1978 within a week a third person flat mate ran off in a rage complaining of her behaviour i didnt know what was wrong After 4 monts of working in a governmet job she complained to me every day that her work colleagues were all terrible awful people who were bullying her badly i believed her Then when i met these workers at her work christmas party i could see they were all lovely people who were sufferring because of her and not the other way around But i just carried on and it didnt bother me She was working full time but never had money I found out many years later that she was paying off debt from her insane shopping sprees she had before i met her She had a brief affair that year with one young local priest i didnt realise it til many years later I believed she was having religous councelling and felt guilty that i was a bad partner and the reason she needed the spiritual guidance She made me feel that way On our wedding night i attempted a moment of extra affectionate talk and tenderness to apply to that special moment Her response was so awful She told me loudly and firmly that love doesnt mean anything to her and if i had married the wrong person i should go now I was deeply shocked and distressed i did not sleep at all that night and lay beside her in a dark and sad state of mind In the morning she didnt remember anything about it until I mentioned it Then she shrugged it off with a comment that i should stop being a sissy like my sisters and my brother She said it made her sick to see them at our wedding hugging me like they did She said also that my father is a stupid cry baby The honeymoon was a two week journey with several moments like that one It started with a rant at the airport when i refused to spend two weeks wages on a camera as she forgot to pack her camera Instead i bought a cheaper one and this triggerred a loud statement in front of her relatives that she had married a stingy no hoper On the flight she sat in a seat away from me and refused to talk to me until we were in our motel room This was about a 7 hour silent treatment punishment thing because i was not prepared to pay two weeks salary for a camera She had several rants on the honeymoon I guess they were a daily event I was so very distressed not knowing what i had got myself into The first year was a kaotic spiral of constant confusion and condemnation of my inner self by me and her She was quickly pregnant and we had a daughter This triggerred a psychotic episode i didnt know what it was and her mother and brother who knew of her illness and the signs she was ill chose instead not to tell me anything She ended up in hospital on ECT shock Treatment I had been looking after the baby with no help from her family I managed to find an old lady to help me by door knocking in the near by homes The doctor called me happily saying he thought she might be conscious on this day and suggested I come there to be at her side when she woke up I bought a big bunch of flowers and sat at her bed side with our baby in my arms Her eyes openned and i felt so proud of what i had been able to do in this crisis Then she said What are you doing here I was thinking you would be far away by now That was not so bad if not for the fact that she said it in a way that indicated she was very disappointed to see me After another two weeks i took her home so proud of what we had achieved and she was getting much better and i had become an expert at looking after the baby The hospital nurses had taught me well When we walked into her mothers house i was feeling so happy and proud Then her mother yelled out from across the back yard as we walked in If you were a decent catholic man none of this would have happenned Part of me believed her Her brother also agreed loudly with the old lady and my wife nodded in agreement Some how they made me feel totally responsible for the illness My wife was still struggling with her condition for a few days One night the mother told me quietly that it would be best if she had died in hospital rather then come home still insane If she did not recover well she said that we could put her in a place just like a convent and she would almost be a nun Still she said i pray that she will die if this demon remains in her head She went on to say that if she went into this convent i would have to go and could not stay at her home but the baby could be adopted out In the midst of this discussion her brother came out of his room having over heard the discussion He asked the mother if he could have his sister car if she went away or died By this time I had just been shutting out such horrible talk from my mind I just focussed on helping my wife recover Much of this awful talk I recalled years later when at peace There were countless events as distressing as those over the years as we went on to have another two babies Caring for these kids and spending time with them enabled me to survive She backed away and let me care for them in most issues This was a good thing for her to do and to this day I respect her obvious wise choice to do so There were many attempts by me over the years to tenderly connect with her and on every occasion it triggerred a rant or a rage of various types and intensity There was one baby who died at birth this was a very distressing time for me The attitude and behaviour of my bipolar wife and her crazy family was stunning and ice cold I was made to feel weak and stupid for being obviously emotional at the loss of the baby boy I was told that the loss of the baby was my fault At age 40 i was diagnosed with a terminal illness It is an auto immune disease and i have been lucky that it has been controlled This is a unique outcome for this disease i was told that i could live another 5 years but may die in 6 months The prognosis was distressing i managed to hide the information from the children i foolishly believed my wife would support me emotionally during this distressing time The news she took like one might respond to a bank teller when asking about a small insignificant account balance When i came home from hospital the first night she was so very cold and negative to every attemtp I made to be intimate and affectionate She accused me of not appreciating the effort she made while i was in hospital The children by this time were caring for themselves very well I was in desperate need of a companion and it was not there Luckily i am now 60 and the disease is no worse then when i was 39 There are countless stories like these They go on and on for another 15 years of torment I eventually went to a psychiatrist and obtained advice on how to best seperate from this woman so that she would be cared for and i could recover from the stressful existance I had to work very hard and save a lot of money I was able to make a property split and establish a good income for her that will guard against anything in the future She is living another life with another man I am living with a totally normal loving woman and my heart is finally in total peace Life is wonderful I was nudged into writing this tonight whilst on night shift It is my the anniversay of that marriage She text me this morning But it was not about the anniversary of our marriage The text was about a good friends birthday which we both know is on that same day I didnt reply to the text I didnt want to trigger a crazy burst But i got one anyway because i did not respond The second text was worded in a way that virtually says ah well you were not wise enough and you messed up badly I hear women talking about me at times in town Stories she told about me and i have a dreadful reputation because of it Funny thing at the grocery shop today three women were talking about me at the check out awful rumours about me being an alcoholic with dementure and homeless They all looking at me while talking but not realising that it is me they are discussing Helen November 24 2015 Reply I commenced seeing someone recently who experienced PTSD and later diagnosed with Bipolar We were only together for 2 months and he seemed fine with a few occassional boughts of tears I didnt really understand the illness He announced his love to me Wrote me cards and bought me nice gifts He starter losing his desire for intimacy Then one day after planning a long weekend away to the coast he calls me to say he s not going he doesn t feel the same way towards me as I did and that he didn t want to persue the relationship further He wanted to be left alone and try to sort himself out He said he could not give me what I needed and that I was to forget about him I was in shock that someone you became close to could in one day shut you out and push you away I send him messages from time to time to see how he is I know he reads them but he never responds A couple of times I had visited him

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/partners-for-life/ (2016-02-14)
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  • 5 Things to remember when being a parent diagnosed with Bipolar disorder | bpHope - bp Magazine Community
    first child next Spring I will be the primary stay at home caregiver This helps Marie November 29 2015 Reply Hi Yvette Thank you for your article and insight I am a single mother of a 10 year old boy After the birth of my son I became manic hallucinated etc Unfortunately I was diagnosed with depression then changed to bipolar Being a parent with a mental illness brings all types of challenges I had to go to a psychiatric ER this past week was kept for 24 hours and all I could think about was my son I m filled with guilt and worry as to how my disorder will if at all affect my child To the point that I don t seek help before I decompensate All because I don t want to leave my son What does help me is a parent support group that I attend every Wednesday It helps so much hearing other parents stories and solutions to being a parent with a mental illness Thank you again for your article Kerrie January 19 2016 Reply Hi Yvette I just wanted to thank you for writing this article I am married with two young boys aged 14 and 11 My 14 year old is bi polar 1 with OCD and ADD I live in the US but am British I used to have my own photography business but am now a Stay at Home Mom My husband knows nothing about the disorder even though I have given him every book under the sun and is totally unsympathetic So to some up my situation in one word OVERWHELMED Reading your article this morning has really struck a chord with me and I am going to try to adopt some of the methods you described to help me Thank you so much x Tulsa OK Kerrie January 19 2016 Reply Oops forgot to say that I am Bi polar 1 also Jess January 25 2016 Reply I also live in Tulsa and suffer from Bi polar I There is a great support group that meets every other thurs called Bright Tomorrows first and third Thur of the month at Asbury united Methodist church fr 7 8 30 Heather January 19 2016 Reply Hi Yvette Thank you for your words I have bipolar 2 and was properly diagnosed 12 years ago I am married with two children 16 18 I have always prided myself on taking care of myself so that I affect my kids as little as possible with my issues I can relate to the isolation that being a stay at home mom brought with the illness as well the feeling of being overwhelmed by the needs of my children I Found working part time was the cure to that isolation And having something productive to focus helped with my self esteem It s nice to see others being serious about parenting along with being a stable individual Em January 19 2016 Reply Dear Yvette THANK YOU for a well written article I recently got diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and have two young children 6 and 7 year olds and I am coming to terms with my diagnosis I am working on not having the disorder be the centre of my life and learning how to be or continue to be a good mother and wife with this newfound realization I am a former corporate executive and have always worked really hard have had a successful career and was always a stellar student Kind of a perfectionist who is very hard on myself and am now trying to be accepting of my illness but at the same time continue to have high standards Exhausting I know And oh am a stay at home wife because my former schedule where I traveled 35 weeks of the year isn t suitable for family life in the US I do run my own business though in food and love it Something to let my creativity and business sassiness feel fulfilled while managing the household with a hubby that travels about thee days per week So your article truly resonated with me I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you wrote that our diagnosis is your responsibility Part of your therapy is understanding your mood and your triggers You need to understand yourself Thank you for posting this I am all about accountability and truly taking responsibility for our illness As well as remembering the importance of self care My friend wrote this which I thought was brilliant and as Bipolar 1 need to remind myself of Self love is about supporting yourself in who you are now It is the foundation that you stand on to create yourself and your life I LOVED that Heather commented that by having a part time job was helpful and broke a little bit the feeling isolated and overwhelmed for her THANK YOU SO I am looking for an online Bipolar Support Group for Parents and I simply can t find one Does anyone know of one that you attend and can recommend Appreciate everyone s comments and love reading other people s stories and taking responsibility for their bipolar diagnosis Thank you kindly Em Jozzy January 19 2016 Reply EM Depression and Bipolar Support and Alliance DBSA Indigodaya com and Psych Central Although Psych Central has awesome resources and information to get and stay in their chat community is like pulling teeth Any more I can think of I ll get on here and let you know Rock on Jozzy mtopgirl January 19 2016 Reply So much of this article screamed that s me even the bad parts My biggest reluctance in seriously considering suicide again is the effect on my child I ve read the studies about likelihood of child repeating same action as well as those about more likelihood to have mental illness Triggers were mentioned Can i be totally honest My triggers are my child and my spouse I do well at work and around other people The moment i step into my home and even on the drive back home my mood immediately plummets My household is the epitome of failure Three members three rooms three tv technologies all going at same time When my child was a toddler I had already given up It was much easier to just let her have her way than to argue Was this part of bipolar or just being lax on my part Anyway thank you for broaching the topic of parenting and how it is difficult for those with BP Annie January 19 2016 Reply DO NOT give up on raising your child Fight for her with all of your being She and you deserve that Part of the giving up IS bipolar i have felt like giving up as well but you can t Some of it IS you being lax and afraid I think Maybe you don t know how to parent the way you want to If that is the case then READ Communicate with your daughter please don t let her grow up to be entitled and not know how to care for herself It is hard but you took on the job when you kept her On bad days you need to learn to compensate The first few months will be very hard but it should get easier when she sees you are serious It is scary We don t wantthem to hate us we HATE being the bad guy we don t have a good handle on what is too much I think you should work this out with a counselor if at all possible to get the support you need renee January 19 2016 Reply I have several suggestions Soul search and decided if you are truly committed to parenting your child in as healthy a way as possible If you are have a heart to heart talk with your psychologist and psychiatrist about your goal Work on an action plan short term and long term Third get you child into prophylactic child therapy ASAP Your child has feelings about your behavior that will come back to haunt you if you don t deal with her feelings in the moment Since she may not want to share with you give her someone to share with It will reap huge benefits down the road Fourth make sure your treatment team communicates freely with your child s therapist It can be scary to be talked about and have your parenting scrutinized but everyone shares the same goal A healthy parent child relationship You will be a much better parent if you open yourself up to constructive guidance Jozzy January 19 2016 Reply The book and chapter comparison is interesting I am a writer and have kept a journal since age 7 I have been diagnosed with bipolar II then bipolar I then bipolar II again with severe depression I have three boys 20 18 and 12 The comparison is good however being a writer I personally have to look at it a different way as there are so many stages to life that are different books for me But that s just me the focus on my children and trying to live a somewhat sane life I m not normal and I m proud of that I mean how boring right However remember to take things one day at a time one hour at a time or one minute at a time sometimes When those manic stages hit especially the depressive ones this is SO important to take a step back and don t look at the whole picture it s too overwhelming slow down and take that moment to re hash your brain I love your to do s and they are helpful as I have raised my oldest with severe adhd until I could no longer handle him at age 14 He was getting into trouble and no longer cared about what came out of his mouth he was unstoppable He went to live with his father who did an excellent job and I thank him greatly Sometimes things emerge that we can t handle It s okay to ask for help Really It is Thank you for your advice I will use it well Jozzy renee January 19 2016 Reply I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features when my daughter was 4 I spent all of her fourth year of life confined to an in patient psychiatric hospital I was given little to no chance of ever parenting my child living on my own or even caring for myself 25 years later I am full time employed in my profession of choice I m a scientist I raised my daughter She s happy well adjusted graduated from college and getting married in 1 month Please don t let anyone tell you what you can accomplish as a parent If you are extremely motivated have a supportive treatment team you involve individual therapy into your child s life immediately and you insist all the mental health professionals communicate with each other for the sake of your child and you you can parent You just cannot do it without excellent support and commitment Theresa January 19 2016 Reply I was raised with my younger brother by a Bi Polar mother in the 70 s Remember there weren t the medications we have today back in the 1970 s It was the worst experience a child could go thorough I wouldn t wish it on my worst enemy It stays with you for life So take your meds see your therapist and put your family first Those kids didn t ask to be brought into this world Especially a bp one Renee January 19 2016 Reply Theresa I m so sorry for what you lived through with your mom The only way to parent while severely mentally ill is to make your own therapy child focused I went into every therapy session asking what are the steps I need to take to be the best mother I can be today I was raised by 2 schizophrenic parents I know the harm severe mental illness can do to a child I lived the harm There was no way I was going to subject my precious daughter to what I was subjected to You know what I didn t Every aspect of my parenting was up for scrutiny I joke now with my psychiatrist of 20 years that I parented by mental health professional committee I accepted it as the requirement to love nurture and mother my child You deserved that same care Every child of a bipolar parent deserves that same care I hope you can find peace and healing Renee Shoshanah s mom Jeffrey January 19 2016 Reply My great grandmother raised five 5 beautiful children in an era where help for those with the Bipolar D O were almost non existent She was in Napa State several times I actually live very close to the hospital in the 1930 s and so was one of her daughters my grandmother who might have suffered from major depression Nevertheless my great grandmother cooked cleaned cared for her little ones and did the best she could She would spend hours sitting alone in a chair I actually have a picture of her with the caption Nattie in one of her pensive moods She was very young at the time perhaps in her early 20 s Her children all knew when she was going manic or was in a down cycle I admire her and her tenacity to care for her children and raise her family to the best of her ability I just thought I would share a memory of someone who had an impact on my life even if it was only briefly She was a wonderful mother grandmother and great grandmother to so many Jane January 19 2016 Reply You have just dramatically changed my way of thinking for the better Your statement I am a mere character in my son s life and the way you point out your parents being characters in your life Wow I can now see that in my 23 yr old daughter s life I am not the only character or the biggest one or the one ruining it single handedly Thank you I had just finished writing to the new drug rehab facility she is in and that drained me Ever since I was diagnosed when she was 3 my goal was for my illness to have the smallest negative impact on her and my husband So much of my energy was focused on the 3 of us having a close involved functional family I made sure that the 2 of them had a good relationship Trying to get my husband to understand what I was experiencing was difficult As another woman commented on providing him with all the books and information possible still didn t get him to educate himself In retrospect now I think it was back near the beginning 20 years ago that he must have decided that he d stay with me until she turned 18 We actually did have a stable close loving family for almost 30 years of marriage When our daughter was 18 he began a short relationship with a 19 year old that was her best friend This was understandingly devastating to our daughter and me Within a year she was using heroin and soon after dropped out of college My beautiful intelligent kind compassionate child has been in and out of jail and ended up living on the street It all finally caught up with her and she has been offered 2 years in state prison or finishing a one year residential rehab program She choose rehab I am trying to be positive strong and am trying even harder to keep my life moving forward I want her to know that I am there to help her in anyway possible and to set a good example The guilt has been overwhelming at times Your article has gotten across to me that her situation is actually not all my fault Thank you for giving me a different perspective I really needed to look at this in a healthier way Thank you Thank you I am a mere character Renee January 19 2016 Reply No Jane you are not a character in your child s life You are their nurturer teacher protector values role model and most essentially you gave them life You have profound obligations to them From the moment you gave birth they were dependent on you for everything Our children did not ask to be born to severely mentally ill parents True we didn t ask to be ill but once motherhood was upon us that was and should be our primary concern Children grow up and leave soon enough While we have them in our care we have to give them the best we have in us They deserve that Characters in books don t do that Lula January 21 2016 Reply Renee I feel you Honestly I agree with you about our importance in our children s lives However we are all operating under a tremendous amount of guilt as BP parents and I wish I could find some relief in the idea that we are characters in their story unfortunately I do not I tried to take it in but it doesn t resonate with me either But don t think for one minute that Jane isn t right here in the trenches with us and if that analogy of the character in the story gives her some perspective and some relief from her guilt then good for her If she didn t care and wasn t struggling she wouldn t have read the article in the first place or taken the time

    Original URL path: http://www.bphope.com/blog/5-things-to-remember-when-being-a-parent-diagnosed-with-bipolar-disorder/ (2016-02-14)
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