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  • Dunder Mifflin, Inc. - Scranton Newsletter
    party RSVP to Michael Scott s Rockin New Year s Eve Party by coming to my office and telling me that you re coming Also let Pam know because she s keeping the official list Note to Pam Can you keep an official RSVP list for my party Thanks DWIGHT SPEAKS by Office Safety Officer Dwight Kurt Schrute I m sure you re all aware of what the sensationalist media has termed black ice This is ice that has formed on top of blacktop such as our parking lot which makes it less than visible therefore leading to an increased amount of slipping injuries I m here to tell you that just because it s difficult to see doesn t mean you can hold the company liable It is your responsibility to notice and react to icy conditions on the ground You should always operate under the assumption that so called black ice is present My best advice is to tell you to take tiny steps in the parking lot no matter what the conditions The extra two or three minutes that will arise from your new tiny stepping routine will possibly save you millions of dollars in rehabilitation costs that could stem from a broken hip or lung puncture assuming you fall onto a very sharp stick Please keep safety in mind as you navigate the parking lot this winter and remember Tiny Steps Save Lives A NOTE FROM PHYLLIS by Phyllis Hi everybody My husband Bob Vance wanted me to pass on a message for him I guess some people are parking in Vance Refrigeration spots sometimes and that makes Bob Vance kind of mad He told me that he doesn t mind if you park there but you have to ask him first Please don t make Bob Vance mad He s not real good about separating work and home and if he comes home mad I end up hearing about it all night Last week he complained about my meatloaf because his warehouse guy Leo took a really long lunch He never complains about my meatloaf It really hurt my feelings So please don t park in Bob Vance s spaces unless you want to hurt my feelings Thank you FROM ACCOUNTING by the Accountants To Everyone in the Office Please don t ask us for your W 2 forms They will be mailed out in January We will not forget anyone We are aware that Kelly did not receive hers two years ago but that was determined to be a result of one of her sister s negligence and not ours Don t ask us in December why you haven t gotten yours yet You haven t received it because it s not January which is when we send them out If you ask in December you re just being stupid Don t be stupid Wait until January to ask If you haven t received your W 2 form by February please feel free to

    Original URL path: http://www.dundermifflin.com/newsletter/scranton/scranton_121307.shtml (2016-04-24)
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  • Dunder Mifflin, Inc. - Scranton Newsletter
    far my favorite and if you vote for this it would make me really happy especially if you don t vote for Berries and Cream I realize this is inappropriate but Peach White Tea is so much better than Berries and Cream If you appreciate me you ll vote for Peach It s really just better REMINDER TO SET YOUR CLOCKS BACK by Michael Scott I know it s only October and early for a Daylight Savings Time reminder but last year I forgot to remind you and everyone forgot to remind me so I wanted to get an early jump ahead no pun intended on things this year For Daylight Savings Time roll your clocks BACK ONE HOUR on the first Sunday in November We all know what happened last year but for those of you who forgot I didn t come into work on the Monday after we rolled the clocks back which is not my fault because my clock isn t made in America and doesn t know about Daylight Savings Time I now have a clock that observes Daylight Savings Time so I will be at work on that Monday just like you should be To recap Daylight Savings Time means you move your clocks back one hour the first Sunday in November If you miss Monday it will be counted as a personal day BOCCE BALL ANYONE by Andrew Bernard If you ve ever been to Italy or studied Italian culture at Cornell you know how crazy awesome bocce ball is It s the ultimate in aiming sports There s a tourney coming up in McDade Park and I want to get a team together so Dunder Mifflin can rock it out If you re interested let me know ASAP Once we get the team

    Original URL path: http://www.dundermifflin.com/newsletter/scranton/scranton_101107.shtml (2016-04-24)
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  • Dunder Mifflin, Inc. - Scranton Newsletter
    07 07 Party was It was so much better that the 06 06 06 Party the 05 05 05 Party and almost as good as the 04 04 04 Party even though Packer didn t show up to this one As you all know the theme was 777 like the jet and thanks to the efforts of the fine ladies of the Party Planning Committee it really was high flying Everything followed the airplane theme from the little bags of peanuts to Angela s adorable little stewardess costume I don t know where you found that Angela but if I wasn t seriously involved with Jan we d have to talk if you know what I mean I can already hear your stupid voice in my head Toby and no this isn t sexual harassment because I didn t actually say anything sexual I m only implying it The highlight of the party had to be when I surprised everyone by pulling out the most classic movie of all time Airplane not Airport 1975 which a lot of people confuse with the good one We had an impromptu screening and it was awesome Now everyone can quote classic lines like Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue and I take it black like my men Listen up Toby and shut your stupid mouth I m just repeating things I ve heard There s no way that repeating something can be considered offensive Thank you again to the Party Planning Committee for doing a bang up job and thank you to Regional Manager Michael Scott for making work a hundred times better than home could ever be TIPS FOR SUMMER SAFETY by Dwight Schrute Okay people it s August a k a the month when you re most likely to burn your face off If you listen to my summer safety tips you shouldn t have a problem If you don t I hope you like walking around with your face covered in bandages and pus 1 If your uncle gets you fireworks do not set them off indoors Find an open field that is NOT occupied by crops of any kind and stand far away If you stand too close you ll burn your face off plain and simple 2 When grilling do not smell your meat until it is off the grill Occasionally the oils from your head may drip into the flame and cause a flare up and your face will burn off It is not pretty Just ask my cousin Heindl 3 While lighting Tiki or Tiki style torches at a picnic you may be frustrated that the torch does not light immediately A common reaction would be to examine the wick to determine the source of the problem If you do this you are exposing yourself to the possibility of burning your face off The wick may suddenly ignite leaving you with a first degree facial burn Don t let this be

    Original URL path: http://www.dundermifflin.com/newsletter/scranton/scranton_082307.shtml (2016-04-24)
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  • Dunder Mifflin: A Micro-Cap Regional Paper and Office Supply Distributor - Think Green
    branches we ve encouraged our employees to think about the environment In Albany we have a full scale printer ink recycling program in effect In Camden employees have adopted their very own stretch of highway Even our Scranton branch has gotten in on the action with a one cup per day policy at their water cooler Around the company Dunder Mifflin employees are making a difference and we re proud

    Original URL path: http://www.dundermifflin.com/think_green/ (2016-04-24)
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  • Dunder Mifflin: A Micro-Cap Regional Paper and Office Supply Distributor

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    Original URL path: /timeline/ (2016-04-24)


  • Dunder Mifflin: A Micro-Cap Regional Paper and Office Supply Distributor - Contact
    to unsubscribe from the Dunder Mifflin newsletter please enter your email address below Thank you Email Address By using this service you are agreeing to be bound by our Privacy

    Original URL path: http://www.dundermifflin.com/contact/unsubscribe.shtml (2016-04-24)
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