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  • Contact Us
    more right to your inbox About Us Helping families cope psychologically is essential for developing the refined financial intelligence most clients are seeking today Eileen Gallo Ph D Eileen Gallo is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in Los Angeles where she assists individuals and families with the psychological and Read More Categories Charity Children and Money Chores Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Uncategorized

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/contact-us/ (2016-04-28)
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  • Trust for a New Age
    to use trusts to help children and grandchildren become financially responsible adults the Results Oriented Trust Environment or ROTE which we developed with our colleague in Boston Jim Grubman Ph D How ROTE Works We have used ROTE to create the Financial Skills Trust which helps beneficiaries master seven interrelated primary financial skills fundamental to responsible money management The ability to live within one s means i e not spending more than one s income The ability to save a portion of one s income The ability to avoid excessive debt The ability to maintain reasonable accounting of one s financial resources The ability to understand and manage one s financial assets either using basic investment principles or delegating this responsibility to appropriate advisors The ability to get and hold a job if funds in addition to trust distributions are either required or desired The ability to use a portion of one s income and or financial resources to support charitable activities We work with families and their estate planning attorneys to help them incorporate the ROTE based Financial Skills Trust into existing estate plans As part of the estate plan we offer high quality video recordings in which parents and grandparents personally express their hopes and wishes for their children grandchildren and other descendants and discuss the role that financial literacy has played in their family The resulting DVD becomes a meaningful and compelling legacy Focused more on love and support than on control the Financial Skills Trust respects the young adult s independence and development Using ROTE greatly increases the likelihood that the next generation will become responsible money managers We developed ROTE with Jim Grubman Ph D Jim s website is www jamesgrubman com Click here for sample Financial Skills Trust language Fill out the form below

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/trust-for-a-new-age/ (2016-04-28)
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  • The Seven Beliefs of Financially Intelligent Parents – Part II
    Financially intelligent parents spend a few minutes at the end of each day asking themselves why they reacted the way they did and whether their behaviors expressed their values Financially Intelligent Parents feel that no and enough are words that children need to hear as part of their money education Under the mistaken notion that they can never give their children enough some parents shower their children with gifts at all ages and routinely give in to pleas and demands for more They may set limits in other areas of a child s life but when it comes to money they just can t say no Sometimes this is due to guilt they re trying to compensate for being away from home so much a common problem among parents pursuing high powered professional careers In other instances limit averse parents are responding to a childhood in which their parents always said no They want to give their children what they never had and as a result they believe in indulging their child with few if any limits It is easier to say no in theory of course than when staring into the eyes of a child you love who acts betrayed and hurt when you say no Recognize however that the importance of limits is psychologically sound In all areas of their lives kids need limits As much as they might act as if they don t want them especially in adolescence they actually crave boundaries These boundaries give them a sense of security it structures their lives and helps them deal with the complexities and uncertainties of growing up Though kids often push against these boundaries and sometimes cross them they also need them Allow children to have anything they want and you foster a sense of entitlement and diminish their drive to achieve In fact overindulged children tend to lack a sense of self worth They believe that they are not important enough for their parents to bother to set limits The art of saying no is one that financially intelligent parents master It is an art because they must balance the no s with yes s There are times when kids deserve rewards and should be allowed to exercise financial independence A belief in saying no however gives parents the inherent right to set limits when necessary As a result they don t feel like they are being mean or withholding love when practicing financially intelligent behaviors Financially Intelligent Parents want their children to work for love more than for money Children who are passionate about a given activity or interest exhibit what social psychologists call autotelic behavior Autotelic is a word composed of two Greek roots auto which means self and telos which means goal An autotelic activity is one we do for its own sake because to experience it is the main goal In other words autotelic behavior is behavior we engage in because we enjoy it rather than for a reward or out of

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/financial-literacy/the-seven-beliefs-of-financially-intelligent-parents-part-ii/ (2016-04-28)
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  • The Seven Beliefs of Financially Intelligent Parents – Part I
    your children Financially intelligent parents tend to be financially savvy but even if they are not they are aware of what they are teaching their children about money One parent we know for instance was socially conscious and involved in a variety of charitable organizations He was also very smart about spending his money carefully and saving wisely and he did a good job of teaching his children budgeting investing and other financial skills This man though was savvy rather than intelligent He showed absolutely no balance lecturing his children from the time they were toddlers about wretched excess and the need to live simply refusing to buy products and services from at least half of all businesses because of sins real or imagined and moaning about how Americans are terribly wasteful and consume far more goods and services than is necessary Almost predictably one child reacted by living even more ascetically than her dad creating problems at school where she had trouble making friends because she chastised the other children for being greedy and selfish The other child responded by rebelling becoming extremely materialistic and constantly telling his dad that when he grew up he wanted to make a lot of money and have all the things that he d been denied as a child This parent might have been very smart about money but he did not possess financial intelligence Financially Intelligent Parents think long and hard about the meaning of money in their lives To many of us money represents far more than just a medium of exchange It represents our deepest emotional needs for love power security independence control and self worth Money might represent a scorecard a measure of success a source of satisfaction or security or a cause for anxiety guilt or dependence Financially intelligent parents work at understanding what money means to them because they know their relationship with money will have a profound effect on every aspect of their children s lives Financially intelligent parents maintain a money consciousness They make an effort to think about what messages they are sending their kids regarding financial issues They don t turn down requests for a toy or insist that their child get a job without thinking about it They develop a reflex by which they reflect upon and question how their money decisions or responses might affect their child s development Obviously they don t do this every second of every day but they do it often enough that they are alert for mistakes they re making or ways their children are being adversely affected We ve found that parents are more likely to think long and hard about money when they understand its enormous emotional influence Sociologist Louis Yablonsky points out that Money often forms the basis of our self concept self esteem and sense of intelligence as well as our perceived status We spend our entire time at work focused on making money Sexual attractiveness is enhanced by the possession of

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/financial-literacy/the-seven-beliefs-of-financially-intelligent-parents-part-i/ (2016-04-28)
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  • Teachable Times: Being Alert for the Moment When Money Messages Can Be Sent
    Your child is toddling around the house picks up a coin on the floor and asks What s this You re at a store often a toy store or grocery store and your child points at something and asks How much does this cost You and your spouse are debating a money issue and your child asks what you re talking about Your child asks you if you re rich Your child s friend receives an expensive gift your child wants the same thing and you want to say no because you consider it too expensive or inappropriate You tell your child she is going to receive an allowance or your child asks for a raise in that allowance You drive through a dilapidated neighborhood and your child asks Are these people poor You open a checking account for your child or give him a few shares of stock or some other investment vehicle Your child asks for something relatively expensive and you explain that he has to earn it You lose your job or make some other major life change and have to or want to downshift your lifestyle as a result Your child asks what he can do to help those less fortunate than himself You pass someone on the street asking for a handout You can also create teachable moments on your own For instance if you are taking the family to Disney World let the teenagers help figure out the budget Younger children might lack the skills for budgeting but they can be given the opportunity to help make decisions after the budget is completed Give them a fixed dollar amount to spend during the day and don t bail them out if they lack sufficient funds for one more soft drink or ride Expect your child to make mistakes and recognize that these mistakes provide prime teachable moments For instance we had taken our twelve year old son with us to San Francisco and were staying in one of the city s finest hotels We had given him permission to order breakfast from room service When we were checking out and received the bill we noticed an 18 laundry charge Because we hadn t sent anything out to be cleaned we asked our son if he had done so He explained his T shirts were dirty and he had decided the hotel service could wash them We made it clear to him that this wasn t acceptable ordering meals from room service was OK but it wasn t financially prudent to have 5 worth of T shirts cleaned for 18 He understood that we weren t upset about the money but about the waste of money on an unnecessary extravagance Because we dealt with the problem immediately and when he was most receptive to what we had to say it helped him to learn to distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable spending Eileen and Jon Gallo are the authors of Silver Spoon Kids How Successful Parents

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/modeling-values/teachable-times-being-alert-for-the-moment-when-money-messages-can-be-sent/ (2016-04-28)
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  • Spending Time and Money Consistent With Your Values – Part III
    my kids to go to college when I had not graduated Deconstructing commercials is an important aspect of teaching kids money values A study by the American Psychological Association found that kids under 8 have a tough time distinguishing commercials from entertainment Don t let young children watch TV on their own Sit with them and when a commercial comes on explain that the purpose of the program they ve been watching is to entertain them and the purpose of the commercial is to make them want to buy something Ask them if they think the product being sold really works that way in real life Will the action figure really fly around the room by itself and does the cereal really sing when you pour it in the bowl And discuss with your child the message the commercial is sending about how to act Ann Bracken teaches a college level course on media literacy Writing in the March 2002 issue of the Baltimore Chronicle and Sentinel www baltimorechronicle com Professor Bracken discussed her students experience in deconstructing the Barbie and Kelly go shopping commercial The class identified three messages about shopping that the commercial sends young children It s lots of fun it s not finished until the cart is full and sneaking things into the cart when mom isn t looking is a cool thing to get away with Larry Mantle the host AirTalk a daily interview call in program on radio station KPCC in Southern California and the winner of numerous Golden Mike and Associated Press awards shared a great deconstructing story with us during one of our appearances on his program When he was growing up Larry desperately wanted a genuine James Bond 007 Super Spy Briefcase that was being advertised daily on several local TV channels His parents did not want to buy it but Larry s father recognized that the commercial made it look much better than it would in real life and took Larry to the local toy shop To this day Larry recalls his feelings when the briefcase that was so wonderful on TV turned out in real life to be small plastic and poorly constructed Every day events are opportunities to model money values especially when shopping for items that are the most heavily advertised to kids Demonstrating to your kids how you go about deciding among competing brands of microwave ovens is important but it has less immediate impact than your behavior in buying athletic shoes that are heavily advertised and showing how you evaluate the shoes versus what the commercials try to tell us The next time you take the kids to a market or drug store explain the difference between generic and brand name drugs The FDA makes certain that the ingredients are identical you often pay double just for the brand name When you get to the cash registers point out how the store strategically places all of the impulse items right there for you to grab

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/modeling-values/spending-time-and-money-consistent-with-your-values-part-iii/ (2016-04-28)
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  • Spending Time and Money Consistent With Your Values – Part II
    that the tooth fairy was going to leave Maggie 5 but for the rest of her teeth Maggie was going to get just 1 each Maggie thought this was a great idea because she was getting interested in money She had just started receiving a 3 a week allowance that she tended to spend at the local arts and crafts store to buy herself supplies to make things The tooth fairy was a great way to be able to buy additional stickers and supplies When Maggie lost her second tooth she put the tooth in the pocket together with a note asking the tooth fairy to leave her tooth behind Sure enough the next morning both the tooth and 1 were in the pocket The next night Mom noticed that Maggie was sleeping with the tooth fairy pillow again When she asked why Maggie told her that she was recycling her tooth The conversation went like this Maggie I m going to get more money Mommy Mommy You can t do that You can t fool the tooth fairy like that Maggie Yes I can I ll sleep with my mouth closed Mommy No you can t do that It s not right to fool the tooth fairy like that You re not being truthful in the way you re getting money If you want an opportunity to make some more money tell Mommy or Daddy and we ll see if we can t find something extra for you to do around the house Here are some ideas when it comes to helping your kids connect money and values We ll share one idea with you in this column and several more in the next column Help your kids develop a money values vocabulary Neurologists tell us that thinking is unconscious We don t remember thinking What we remember are the words that accompany our thoughts not the thoughts themselves This means that an important part of teaching your kids money values is giving them the necessary vocabulary to be able to think about money in terms of values We call this giving your kids a money values vocabulary When we introduce the concept of a money values vocabulary in our workshops some parents initially assume that we re talking about a way of saying No in a manner that articulates our values if your child or grandchild asks to buy something you don t agree with Sometimes it is but more often a money values vocabulary helps you and your child evaluate whether to buy something Elisabeth Guthrie M D the Clinical Director of the Learning Diagnostic Center at Blythedale Children s Hospital in Valhalla New York and the author of The Trouble with Perfect has commented that parents can learn a lot about the importance of teaching kids values by watching swimmers in a pool Swimmers need to push off against the end wall of the pool in order to do the best possible turn When it comes

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