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  • Money, Marriage and Kids
    Not only does money become associated with a source of conflict anger guilt and betrayal but it feeds the concept of money as a taboo subject To avoid these secrecy fights we recommend a Money Amnesty Day Set aside a time for you and your spouse to sit down and reveal any money secrets that you may have been keeping from each other Agree in advance that you will forgive whatever is revealed so long as it stops Of course these Amnesty Days aren t going to end all money fights If you and your spouse grew up with different money values some tension is always going to exist between the two of you What you need to resolve is to keep this tension from erupting into real combat even fighting in private can hurt impact children since in that they often can read their parents and know when and about what they ve been fighting without actually witnessing the bout Getting your money stories straight means resolving to limit your fights to infrequent skirmishes Perhaps the first and best thing you and your spouse can do is to create three basic money messages that will as a guide for what the two of you say and do with each other and your kids for everything from allowances to buying toys to saving money You want to agree on money messages for acquisition use and management how you get use and manage money These basic money messages serve as scripts you can use again and again in a consistent manner when dealing with money issues Obviously your messages should reflect the values you and your spouse agree upon but here is a sample of three that you can adopt or adapt Acquisition Setting an ambitious financial goal for acquiring money is fine as long as you don t become consumed obsessed and otherwise a slave to this goal Use Money can be used to buy both necessities and luxuries but not to buy things to impress others or to establish your own worth Management Keeping track of finances is responsible behavior but to keep track of them down to the last penny or for hours every night may involve shirking your responsibility to family friends and other more meaningful pursuits A good place to start is for you and your spouse to write down your version of the three messages Then trade lists Agree in advance Perhaps the first and best thing you can do is create three money relationship messages corresponding to acquisition use and management You and your spouse should put these in writing and use them as a guide for what you say and do regarding everything from allowances to buying toys to saving money Obviously your messages should reflect the values you and your spouse agree upon but here is a sample of three that you can adopt or adapt Acquisition Setting an ambitious financial goal is fine as long as you don t become consumed

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/financial-literacy/money-marriage-and-kids/ (2016-04-28)
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  • acquisition
    1 of 3 in the series Couples and Money Understanding Your Relationship With Money John Kenneth Galbraith an influential Canadian American economist once observed that most things in life automobiles mistresses cancer are important only to those who have them Money in contrast is equally important to those who have it and those who don t In our prior columns we have examined some of Filed Under Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Tagged With acquisition couples money money management money messages money personality responsible spending Getting Your Money Story Straight Part IV This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series Getting Your Money Story Straight Financially intelligent parents present a unified front when dealing with money issues This behavior takes a bit of work and practice and we ve found that a number of techniques facilitate integrating this behavior into your routine Perhaps the first and best thing you and your spouse can do is to create Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With acquisition allowance children finances financially intelligent parent money money management money messages responsible values Getting Your Money Story Straight Part II This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Getting Your Money Story Straight In Part One of this Article we discussed your money story and introduced the concept of your money personality as it reveals itself in the dimensions of how you acquire money how you manage money and how you use money Let s look at each area in more detail so that you can Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With acquisition children investment money money management money messages responsible spending values Understanding Your Relationship With Money In my last column I

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/tag/acquisition/ (2016-04-28)
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  • couples
    scripts If you fight with your spouse about money it may be that the two of you are reading from different scripts based on different values you learned as children The fight is really over the psychological issues and the Filed Under Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Tagged With acquisition allowance checkbook couples credit cards finances money money management money messages money personality responsible spending Couples and Money Understanding Your Relationship With Money Part II This entry is part 2 of 3 in the series Couples and Money Understanding Your Relationship With Money In Part One of this series we discussed the different aspects of a money personality and asked you to take a quiz Let s take a look at your answers The first question asked you to determine which of the three dimensions was most important to you If you circled a you re into acquisition Filed Under Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Tagged With acquisition couples credit cards finances money money management money messages money personality responsible spending Couples and Money Understanding Your Relationship With Money Part I This entry is part 1 of 3 in the series Couples and Money Understanding Your Relationship With Money John Kenneth Galbraith an influential Canadian American economist once observed that most things in life automobiles mistresses cancer are important only to those who have them Money in contrast is equally important to those who have it and those who don t In our prior columns we have examined some of Filed Under Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Tagged With acquisition couples money money management money messages money personality responsible spending Fill out the form below to begin receiving our Monthly Newsletter Finacial Literacy Tips and more right to your inbox About Us Helping families cope psychologically is essential for developing the refined financial

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/tag/couples/ (2016-04-28)
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  • investment
    and introduced the concept of your money personality as it reveals itself in the dimensions of how you acquire money how you manage money and how you use money Let s look at each area in more detail so that you can Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With acquisition children investment money money management money messages responsible spending values Financial Reflection Part II This entry is part 2 of 3 in the series Financial Reflection In Part One of Financial Reflection we talked about the importance of asking your children questions that stimulate discussions designed to encourage reflective financial behaviors Important as these steps are you need to be reflective yourself Many parents don t practice what they preach at least when their kids are watching To assess Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Tagged With children finances financially intelligent parent investment money money management responsible values Fill out the form below to begin receiving our Monthly Newsletter Finacial Literacy Tips and more right to your inbox About Us Helping families cope psychologically is essential for developing the refined financial intelligence most clients are seeking today Eileen

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/tag/investment/ (2016-04-28)
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  • money management
    you to take a quiz Let s take a look at your answers The first question asked you to determine which of the three dimensions was most important to you If you circled a you re into acquisition Filed Under Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Tagged With acquisition couples credit cards finances money money management money messages money personality responsible spending Couples and Money Understanding Your Relationship With Money Part I This entry is part 1 of 3 in the series Couples and Money Understanding Your Relationship With Money John Kenneth Galbraith an influential Canadian American economist once observed that most things in life automobiles mistresses cancer are important only to those who have them Money in contrast is equally important to those who have it and those who don t In our prior columns we have examined some of Filed Under Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Tagged With acquisition couples money money management money messages money personality responsible spending Money and Child Development Part II In Part One of this article we looked at the first two stages of child development and the corresponding parental money tasks In Part two we are going to look at the other three stages as well as noting some warning signs Initiative During the initiative stage kids become curious about many things including money Filed Under Children and Money Tagged With allowance bills children credit cards financially intelligent parent money money management money personality patterns responsible values Getting Your Money Story Straight Part IV This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series Getting Your Money Story Straight Financially intelligent parents present a unified front when dealing with money issues This behavior takes a bit of work and practice and we ve found that a number of techniques facilitate integrating this behavior into your routine Perhaps the first and best thing you and your spouse can do is to create Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With acquisition allowance children finances financially intelligent parent money money management money messages responsible values Getting Your Money Story Straight Part III This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Getting Your Money Story Straight In the first two Parts of this Article we ve looked at money stories and money personalities Now we want to examine two negative money messages that many of us send our children money as taboo and money as cause of argument Money as a taboo topic Psychologists and financial writers love Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With children credit cards finances money money management money messages responsible saving values Getting Your Money Story Straight Part II This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Getting Your Money Story Straight In Part One of this Article we discussed your money story and introduced the concept of your money personality as it reveals itself in the dimensions of how you acquire

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/tag/money-management/ (2016-04-28)
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  • wealth
    messages Quite possibly these money messages conflict Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With children expenses finances money money management money messages responsible values wealth Using Genograms to Help Understand Relationships with Money My most recent Money and Soul column May 2001 introduced a three dimensional model of money relationships which examines each person s unique relationship with money in three separate dimensions acquisition use and management This column explores a tool that you and your clients can use to trace money personalities through several generations I use it in Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With affluence bills children estate expenses finances genogram money money management responsible values wealth The Psychological Education Of An Estate Planner In her column this month my wife Eileen introduces a three dimensional model of money relationships This model examines our relationship with money in terms of acquisition use and management For the last two years I have been using Eileen s model in my day to day estate planning practice as a means of helping clients select Filed Under Financial Literacy Financial Reflection Modeling Values Talking about Money Tagged With beneficiaries estate finances income loan money money management tax wealth The Psychological Impact of Sudden Wealth A book review in The New York Times changed the course of my professional career I had gone back to graduate school to get my Ph D in psychology One Sunday morning I came across a review of Susan Litwin s Postponed Generation in which she argued that American youth were taking an extra ten years to Filed Under Financial Reflection Modeling Values Talking about Money Tagged With affluence children finances money wealth Fill out the form below to

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/tag/wealth/ (2016-04-28)
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  • Parental Money Tasks
    parents who try to insulate their children from the media but it it is usually is a losing proposition If children aren t exposed to commercials at their own home they will view them at friends homes It s normal for children to like and want things Commercial television though will start teaching two or three year olds that they should not only like and want what they see on TV but that they need what is advertised A parent s money task during this stage is to help children learn the difference between liking and wanting things as opposed to needing everything they see advertised The former is normal the latter is not When you think about good versus bad parental money behaviors realize that your children learn not only by what you say and do but also by what you don t say or do If you use the television as a babysitter and don t watch with your children and talk to them about what they are seeing you are allowing advertising to deliver a you need everything we re selling message A steady diet of commercials during this developmental stage may yield children with an overwhelming need for instant gratification These are the children who may resent you for not buying them things and perhaps carry this resentment and anger about what they don t have into adulthood Financially intelligent parents therefore ration the amount of television small children watch and try to and watch with their children whenever possible In this way they can help them learn to understand what commercials are telling them and give them the tools they need to evaluate the truthfulness of what is being said Financially intelligent parents also reframe the way their children think about commercials Reframing allows your children to think in terms of I like what I see on TV rather than I need or I want what is being advertised Initiative During the initiative stage children become curious about many things including money For this reason you want to become comfortable communicating to your children about financial issues using both words and behaviors Financially clueless parents communicate poorly or not at all Perhaps the worst sin parents commit during this stage is to engage in constant quarrels with each other in their children s presence As a result children grow up associating money with hostility and disagreements and this association colors their own attitudes about both relationships and money It can cause them to replicate this behavior when they re older and in relationships or it may cause them to avoid any discussion about money with their spouses It can also create a sense of money as the root of all evil and cause children to pursue interests and careers precisely because they re guaranteed not to make any money at them Financially intelligent parents learn to keep the majority of their money arguments private During the Initiative stage financially intelligent parents also make an effort

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/children-and-money/parental-money-tasks/ (2016-04-28)
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  • credit cards
    credit cards finances money money management money messages money personality responsible spending Money and Child Development Part II In Part One of this article we looked at the first two stages of child development and the corresponding parental money tasks In Part two we are going to look at the other three stages as well as noting some warning signs Initiative During the initiative stage kids become curious about many things including money Filed Under Children and Money Tagged With allowance bills children credit cards financially intelligent parent money money management money personality patterns responsible values Getting Your Money Story Straight Part III This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Getting Your Money Story Straight In the first two Parts of this Article we ve looked at money stories and money personalities Now we want to examine two negative money messages that many of us send our children money as taboo and money as cause of argument Money as a taboo topic Psychologists and financial writers love Filed Under Children and Money Financial Reflection Modeling Values Money Stories Talking about Money Tagged With children credit cards finances money money management money messages responsible saving values Engaging In Difficult Money Discussions Part I One of the most important behaviors of financially intelligent parents is being able to talk to your kids about money Financially intelligent parents understand that they teach their kids a lot about money through their modeling behavior but they also understand that they teach them even more in day to day conversations that involve money Filed Under Children and Money Modeling Values Talking about Money Tagged With budget checkbook children credit cards discussion finances financially intelligent parent money money management responsible spending values Children and Allowances Part II In our last column we introduced allowances as a means of helping our children learn self reflection and impulse control and recommended that all children receive an allowance In this column we will look at two more recommendations Recommendation 2 Allowances should not be tied to chores Chores are done because kids are members of the Filed Under Children and Money Chores Modeling Values Tagged With allowance children credit cards expenses finances financially intelligent parent money responsible values Children and Allowances Part I When it comes to making money decisions kids are frequently impulsive In fact when it comes to making most decisions kids are impulsive It doesn t matter if the choice involves money food or friends they often react without thinking Children simply aren t born with the capacity for self observation and the ability to control their impulses Filed Under Children and Money Modeling Values Tagged With allowance budget children credit cards finances financially intelligent parent money management responsible values Becoming A Charitable Family All of us want our children to have a healthy relationship with money We want them to learn how to handle their allowances wisely to balance their checkbooks and not to abuse credit cards But a healthy relationship with money

    Original URL path: http://www.galloconsulting.com/Financially-Intelligent-Parenting/tag/credit-cards/ (2016-04-28)
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