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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: Super Tuesday Bros. Brawl - Page 1
    stop Ivysaur Ivy Ivysaur IVYSAUR Audience boos Ivy IvySAUR Thumps podium Fargo But honestly I think most moderates would support his position there Hold the phone my producers tell me we ve got Solid Snake on comm channel 140 15 for a live interview Snake Snake Appearing with a Fweep sound Otacon Fargo No this is Fargo and Gerald from GameSpy Snake Who is this This is a private line Gerald Mr Snake if elected how would you deal with the insurgency Snake Sneak up behind them and mumbles Fargo I didn t catch that Gerald That s your plan Sneak up behind them You can t sneak up behind all of them Snake Watch me Fweep Fargo Indeed a busy man Gerald That said I think his platform is stronger than Mr Game Watch who was just going to flick sausages at them Fargo Moving on what you re seeing now is live video of R O B the Robot at a rally in Rhode Island where he appears to be flinging gyroscopes at people Gerald Joining us in the studio now Diddy Kong Diddy Kong ladies and gentlemen Mr Kong we re very happy you were able to take some time off of your campaign to join us here today Fargo I m gonna say he s happy to be here as well being that he s standing on the chair and screaming Mr Kong what direction would you like to take your party Gerald Ah it looks like he s well he s just pointed at us both Now he s he s smashed his hands together Fargo Was that a threat Gerald No no no I think he s saying the party needs more unity Fargo He s clapping his hands Gerald I think he s

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/850/850799p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: Cuckoo for 'Chu - Page 1
    with panicked clicks An electric mouse would on us afflict Can t read Japanese our excuse With strippled fur and reddened cheek He disappeared a yellow streak We tailed his tail and women s shrieks Down the hall that little puffball A dash a bawl a frantic crawl He disappeared that little sneak As daily holes in drywall attest Our Japanese visitor is quite the pest No wire or current can he not ingest Make the blunder of catching his plunder He ll squeak PIK A CHU and call down the thunder I told you he s cheap Gerald says Small as a basketball fast as a jet Fury erupts when he takes down the net We stationed some guards on every outlet What s the plan for this beast from Japan RTFM no man can Not knowing kanji we came to regret In desperation today I brought out a box With forked stick and string I hoped to outfox That cunning rodent and giver of shocks The dubious mandate to locate some bait Culminated in several car batteries eight But at current DC the little rat balks I m forced to ask you for help with our curse How

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/848/848944p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: The Captain's Log - Page 1
    by good God man what is that Looking up from his work the Magistrate had at last noticed that Fargo carried with him an enormous unhewn log roughly seven feet high and a foot or more in diameter The Naval man had set the log upright such that it nearly scraped the white paneled ceiling and he leaned casually against it as though it had been erected there all along It s a log sir A decorative log Yours for say five doubloons The Magistrate waved his delicate hand his frilly sleeve partially stained with ink There s nothing decorative about that log Lieutenant It s all barky Not true your honor Fargo argued spinning the log around See I carved a little face here Shall I mark you down for five Ten maybe Logs make great gifts The politician slapped his quill onto the desk I wouldn t entertain the notion he grunted Now listen well because there s no time for dawdling Merchants have spotted a French Privateer lurking on the sea lanes between here and Ladies Fargo announced pivoting around to make eyes at the two tightly bodiced women whispering to one another by the fireplace I couldn t help but notice you were admiring my log Would you like to touch it It s made of wood Lieutenant the Magistrate scolded rapping the flat of his hand on his desk What is it with you and your log I recently purchased a warehouse and lumber yard in Bartica Fargo admitted turning his attention back to the man behind the desk And saw that I needed 20 units of wood to build my next building So I dutifully clicked the harvest wood button 20 times The women by the fireplace giggled Fargo continued Of course I didn

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/847/847559p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: New Back-End Technology - Page 1
    this whole gaming chair phenomenon Is there really a market for these things Hobbs Hell yes Studies show the vast majority of gamers have asses Our market is growing every day thanks in part to rampant American obesity Can I give you a demo of our latest product Fargo It s just a chair with a subwoofer built in and speakers on the headrest I don t see what ow okay take it easy okay fine I m sitting in your chair I guess it s kind of comfy Like reclining in a shapely pile of pudding Whoa what are you doing with the squeeze bulb Hobbs Hold on I m pumping it up for a snug fit It s a little trick we learned from Reebok SnugButt technology is patent pending Capital S capital B Fargo Pretty tight What if my legs fall asleep Hobbs That s just the thing our competitors have chairs that allow your ass to swim around in there like a peanut in a salad bowl We lock that puppy down so you absorb the full force of our patent pending full sensory rear channel Fargo I don t follow Hobbs Here let me fire up Call of Duty 4 See that Howabout that container ship level hunh Listen to that Fargo Well Hobbs Don t listen with your ears Listen with your ass Fargo There s a funny feeling In my tummy Hobbs The leading chairs on the market don t really engage the bottom end like we do There s a separate channel for each cheek Fargo I feel it That s a little intense The non gaming applications are profound but I will not list them here Hobbs Today s videogames provide a complete sensory experience for your eyes and ears but

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/846/846531p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: Public Warning - Page 1
    this year Personally I think game companies need to be more proactive when it comes to helping out us consumers And I m not talking about ESRB labels like Comic Mischief What does that mean exactly You never see a Depressing Mischief label I m talking about giving us really important information to help us make the right call For instance we love Rock Band with a passion here but one of our engineers rightly pointed out that the box should come with a disclaimer And I for one wish TeamFortress 2 had been properly labeled Think of the agony I could ve been spared if the brilliantly designed game skate had the following sticker on the box If you re lucky enough to find a Wii on store shelves I honestly feel you deserve the courtesy of a polite warning label on the box For years now I ve contended that games containing freaky little girls should agree on some kind of standardized notation on the box That way we as consumers can make educated decisions about the content enclosed Here s what I d recommend for F E A R and BioShock Finally a note of caution for

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/842/842885p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Crysis: Invisible Banana - Page 1
    the invisible banana Repeat Do not engage with the invisible banana Fargo I ve located a target banana on a small table near the compound garage Moving in Command Frantic You are ordered to abort invisible banana maneuver Disengage Disengage Fargo I m picking up the banana now I m stealthed but the banana isn t OoooOOOOoOOHHHhhhh The banana It appears to be floOOOoaattting in the aiiIIIiirrr Command Strategic Command does not authorize the use of the invisible banana Fargo OooOOOoohh there it goOOOOooeees They re looking at the banana That s right North Korea What are you gonna do The banana it s just floooaaaatttiiinng Command May I remind you that nanosuit stealth mode costs the U S taxpayers approximately 5600 per second Fargo Chanting Ba nananananananananaanaaaaa Ba nananananananananaan OW Command Fargo Fargo They shot me They shot me in the face Command Satellites show in bound aircraft Fargo Now there s a helicopter shooting at the banana And by extension me Command Bug out Bug out of there Fargo Or you know maybe drop the banana Dumbass Fargo Fine fine I switched to super strength and threw the banana through a wall Now I m invisible again Command Is the enemy aware of your position Fargo Of course not I m not holding the banana anymore so I m invisible Command Excellent Fargo What good does that do me Command The intel should be just northeast of your position Fargo I am totally flipping these guys off right now and they don t even know it Command Do you see the intel Fargo Hold on while I pants this guy Oh man Are you getting this on video Command The intel Fargo the intel Fargo Yeah yeah fine fine I m in the headquarters now I m surrounded

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/841/841372p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: Little-Known Call of Duty 4 Achievements - Page 1
    Call of Duty 4 rewards and Achievements that I uncovered through extensive research but I m willing to share Score big with a few of these Jimmykicker Complete the single player campaign with nothing but crotch shots Post Pubescent Earn this Achievement by saying ten complete sentences over Xbox Live chat none of which contain the word gay Blunt Instrument Score ten consecutive rocket launcher kills on targets standing less than four feet away Base Jumper Fall off the top of a building while prone and trying to snipe The Cosby Shoot someone in the face with a Bazooka Newb with the Golden Gun 1 Awarded to anyone under the rank of Sergeant who grabs a Desert Eagle handgun off the body of a higher ranked player and then runs around shooting and randomly yelling Check me out Newb with the Golden Gun 2 Same as above except you also start quoting the movie Snatch in a bad British Accent Desert Eagle point five oh He s Over Here Throw smoke grenades on three friendly snipers in an Xbox Live match Frequent Flier You ve played that airplane level like 30 times Because Backseat Duty You watch a friend play and keep yelling Use the flashbang No you want to reload Go go This means you Sluggo I m talking about you Sucker Puncher That guy standing still at the spawn point was clearly going to the bathroom or answering the phone when you walked right up and knifed him in the back of the head 2 Legit Awarded for sniping a guy through the wall so cleanly that he accuses you of cheating Fargo Hates You A special Achievement given to players whose only strategy seems to be to rush up to Fargo and die so that they drop

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/840/840213p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: The Rock Effect - Page 1
    weekend More importantly they re elbowing each other for room on my TV Should I play Mass Effect See our complete coverage Or should I play Rock Band See our complete coverage It s moments like these that test a man s soul If only PlanetFargo runs every Friday on GameSpy com at least until the purging Dave Fargo Kosak is a longtime game journalist and GameSpy co founder who

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/837/837150p1.html (2016-02-16)
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