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  • GameSpy: Fargo's QuakeCon Blog: Barbequed Deathmatch - Page 1
    in 1997 in a relatively small hotel Since then the event has grown larger every year but I never thought it would come to this This place is unreal The hotel itself not including the convention center consists of two massive buildings with an enormous courtyard in between The entire courtyard larger than a football stadium is covered in a glass dome with an enormous Texas star on the roof What s in the courtyard Well you ve got a simulated oil derrick a miniature Alamo a recreation of the San Antonio riverwalk some sort of bell tower some forests a few waterfalls several restaurants It s like I m living inside a giant souvenir snowglobe of Texas Wednesday 5 30 PM I bet this hotel hasn t seen so many people lugging computers and monitors around before It s wild Already there s a knot of people outside the main convention hall waiting to set up in the BYOC Bring Your Own Computer area The best part is the group of people in the line for the waiting list They really put their balls on the line They schlupped their computer all the way to Dallas and aren t even sure if they ll be able to get in yet But they ve made the best of it About 15 people managed to set up a miniature LAN on the floor and they were deathmatching outside the big doors to go in This is the American Dream Wednesday 8 30 PM Quick aside Texas knows how to make a hamburger That is all I checked up on the line to get into the BYOC area again which now snakes around four or five times like a computerized Disneyland I noticed something really cool When you re far from home

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/538/538210p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo: Hell in Pretty Colors - Page 1
    Strangled voices echoed through metal gangways buried amidst the windswept surface of Mars then fell into a grim silence Soon from the very bowels of the planet arose a hideous gurgle was it laughter and within moments the ducts and hallways of Mars City reverberated with shouts and gunfire Then came the explosions And the squishy sounds Those were the worst Into the tempest was tossed a solitary Space Marine His name SPACE MARINE While growing up this left him few options with regards to a career path Could he make it off of the shores of hell alive Or at least with the good parts of his groin intact Follow his adventures in this PlanetFargo graphic novel And by graphic I mean it s got lots of blood and toilet jokes I try PAGE ONE PAGE TWO PAGE THREE PAGE FOUR PAGE FIVE PAGE SIX PlanetFargo appears every Friday on GameSpy com filling the souls of penitent men with dread Mail Fargo Then visit the PlanetFargo Archives or the really old PlanetFargo Archives for more What Do You Think Latest PlanetFargo PlanetFargo A Fond Farewell Feb 6 2009 Left 4 Fargo Jan 15 2009 PlanetFargo The Lonely Pirate Jan

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/536/536421p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Gran Turismo Gearheads Unite! - Page 1
    as easy as they make it in the Gran Turismo games My brother in law is no stranger to the scene He s got a sweet 65 Pontiac GTO ragtop which is just like the one that will be featured in the game with the single exception that it doesn t move It is also mostly the color of primer Among the many sweet ass tricked out modifications he s done to the machine he s experimenting with moving the engine presumably to help with weight distribution Right now the engine is several feet away from the car and under a pile of cardboard boxes filled with high performance Christmas ornaments I myself caught the bug in recent years with my very own 1974 Volkswagen Thing That s right they once named a car The Thing You might remember the Volkswagen Thing from its historic run in the 1977 Monte Carlo Rally where one was briefly spotted in the parking lot outside the race The Thing is basically a modern edition of the World War II German Staff car which is fitting since I am often shot at on the Los Angeles freeways But like any Volkswagen you can totally trick this Thing out although again it s not as simple as games like Gran Turismo would lead you to believe The previous owner had connected the carburetor to the air filter using duct tape and a hose from an ordinary laundry machine dryer I improved on his sweet custom mods by getting said hose caught in the fan belt and then by having the car towed to my mechanic That s how we hardcore gearheads handle these things I may also have cried In Gran Turismo 4 you should be able to adjust your vehicle suspension or replace engine

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/534/534503p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Are Undead Videogame Pirates Abusing Chickens? - Page 1
    claim to have discovered gross cases of animal abuse among the red Skull Clan pirate team within the game Were they indeed unnecessarily abusing chickens The public outcry was staggering I had to know the truth The Deck of the Revenge Dawn Captain Brice in his deep blue velvet vest and flowing white shirt gave me a hand over the rail and welcomed me aboard his sloop The ship was stunning her curved lines and gleaming brass crisp in the dawning sunlight I knew she fought for the blue team not just from her bright blue band of paint but because the rear of the ship had a sticker showing a little blue pirate boy peeing on a little red ship Welcome aboard Captain Brice hollered slapping me on the back as I stumbled around looking for my sea legs Tis an honor to have a distinguished guest But tell me again mate why ye wish to accompany us on our attack on the notorious evil Skull Clan of the Isle of Shark Haven A quiet launch at dawn I sat down on a barrel to keep myself from falling over Well Captain I have reason to believe they ve been abusive Wantonly cruel and abusive the Blue crew nodded and yarred in agreement to chickens Suddenly the crew fell silent quiet enough that you could hear a pegleg drop To chickens the Captain said You betcha And I m going to get to the bottom of their maliciousness The Captain stroked his whiskerless chin and stepped closer You understand they re pirates right UNDEAD pirates Walking zombies fleshly incarnations of hate doomed to walk the earth to torture the living Yes but what concerns me are animal rights abuses It s all over the news The American people have

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/532/532691p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Building the Perfect LAN Center - Page 1
    represented by Foster s beer commercials and a chain of restaurants known as The Outback Steakhouse This is all I have to draw from dear friend In my mind therefore your LAN center is in a dimly lit wooden building on the edge of the desert decorated by boomerangs and presided over by an enormous stuffed Kangaroo Upon entering your gaming center participants are presented with enormous knives and hats that contain animal teeth I understand that this is most certainly not the case but ask only that you pretend it s just like that in all future discussions For me Erfy Do it for me Now that we have established a game friendly and marsupial rich atmosphere you will need to consider the practical matters of running what amounts to a 24 hour a day LAN party LAN parties are frequented by gamers and the sad fact is that some gamers choose not to bathe regularly It seems like there s one in every crowd Were you to run your establishment for say two or more weeks without taking this into account it would not be long before your entire business shared the musky reek of armpitude It might actually hang in the air like a physical cloud To solve your problem I suggest waterproofing your PCs covering the keyboards with flexible membranes and installing showerheads over each position Every eight hours or so you could flip a big lever and just sorta hose the whole place down in like 30 seconds flat Cement floors and adequate drainage are a MUST But while we re running all that plumbing we can also provide additional services to your loyal patrons I suggest having a hose above each terminal through which customers can acquire warm nacho cheese via a quarter operated

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/530/530281p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: The Little Known Games of Summer, Part III - Page 1
    the jimmies What do you people take me for If people in this industry got paid just to make up games John Carmack wouldn t be the spaceship launching pauper he is today And besides who could possibly make up the green kneed enjoyment that is this year s smash summer gaming hit I mean if Sid Meier could make running a frickin golf course exciting who else in the industry could make household chores such a heartstopper I was up all night saying to myself Just one more yard I ll just finish this embankment A lot of lawnmower sims these days are going for a more visceral real time approach but Meier s insistence to stick with good old fashioned turn based lawn and garden care really keeps the game mental Hang on I m getting some angry phone calls Okay okay I can t do it anymore I admit it I ve made these games up Sid Meier has not made a lawn mowing simulation though deep down I believe he could and I d probably play it Here s the deal The reason I made up these summer games is because for my vacation I was going to completely unplug and not play anything You see when you play games for a living there s a little part of you that thinks it would be a good idea to not play them when you re taking a vacation That s it I said No games But then within two minutes I was like I d better bring the Game Boy Advance You know just for the airplane But then since I was traveling with my wife I thought we should get something we can play together So we bought ANOTHER GameBoy and a link cable The

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/525/525938p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: The Little Known Games of Summer, Part II - Page 1
    the slow season but I m all over it Last week we looked at a little known Tom Clancy thriller But this week we re looking at something scary Really scary Many of us are familiar with American McGee the level designer from id Software who went on to create American McGee s Alice a dark and twisted look at the classic Lewis Carroll storyline Nowadays he s working on a motion picture American McGee s Oz which I imagine will be just like the classic Wizard of Oz with the addition of a 20 minute flying monkey evisceration scene But few people seem to have heard about his latest summer release Leave it to American McGee to find the sinister subtext few of us had ever noted in the absolutely creepy Happy Birthday song The dark opening chords howling Happy Birthday to you are immediately followed by a grim repetition Happy Birthday to you like the hollow echo of Satan Then in a moment of sheer abject terror the next line of the song customizes the experience for the player Happy Birthday dear playername Wow I m getting chills It s like until then you were just passively watching the experience thinking that could never happen to me And then suddenly IT S ALL ABOUT YOU There is no place to run no place to hide This is YOUR birthday your own demon to deal with And as if to ram the point home while at the same time bringing the quartet to an ironic full circle conclusion the refrain is once again repeated Happy Birthday to you Lemme tell you you don t want to play this game in the dark Next week more of this summer s missed classics PlanetFargo appears every Friday on GameSpy com even

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/525/525852p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: The Little Known Games of Summer, Part I - Page 1
    for gaming With the possible exception of sports games game companies don t release many new products since during the Summer months everyone is supposed to be outside Wheverver that is But there s a silver lining to this cloud Now is the time of the year when you can really explore games that otherwise slip under the radar you know the lesser known franchises Like this gem right here Although Mr Clancy is best known for his fiction based on international intrigue I was really glad to see that he branched out In this offshoot from the Splinter Cell games chocoholic Sam Fisher I alone have the 5th Avenue finds a golden ticket which allows him to infiltrate the most delicious terrorist operation on earth Oompa Loompa doompadee doo I ve got another cutscene for you Oompa loompa dommpadah dee You can skip past it by pressing a key What do you get from sneaking round spies A cough or a creak gets you shot in the eyes Skitter little Sammy quiet as a mouse But don t do a wall split in a gingerbread house On second thought it s becoming clearer why I was never allowed to

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/525/525762p1.html (2016-02-16)
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