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  • GameSpy: A Public Apology - Page 1
    APOLOGY FROM DAVE FARGO KOSAK With regard to his actions during the GT3 Tourney To my fellow employees at GameSpy as well as the airport victims I would like to publicly apologize for my recent behavior My conduct although justifyable as my only hope of winning was inexcusable in the light of emotional and physical damage it caused I would like to apologize first and foremost for the tear gas Appropriate as it may be during board meetings it s wholly inappropriate to use it during a company tournament I would like to apologize firstly to those hopitalized as well as to the victims of the subsequent vomiting despite how cool it was Furthermore it was conduct unbecoming of a staff writer to dangle an enormous stuffed Pikachu from the balcony such that it smacked people in the face during the qualifying rounds shaithis in particular deserves a personal apology I promise to replace the pants you soiled I apologize albeit regretfully for re routing my opponent s machines to play Scooby Doo re runs during the semi finals Honestly I don t think this was that big of a deal it was half a lap before anyone noticed And great fun was had by all once the owner of the haunted farmhouse was revealed to actually be the mean old foreclosure agent in disguise C mon that was quality entertainment Roobyroobyroo But most sincerely of all I would like to publicly apologize for re routing air traffic in an attempt to crash a plane into the building after I was knocked out of the finals It was mean spirited vindictive and although it didn t result in any casualties I would like to humbly apologize to all of the commuters who were delayed on the 405 Freeway when an

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494417p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: The Making of BingoPlanet - Page 1
    so I m going to tackle this one like a Mariah Carey shaped dressing dummy in the Lingerie aisle of K Mart Research Understanding our Audience First we ask ourselves some hard questions about the game and the people who play it Here at GameSpy we re interested in mainstream games with a large active community Multiplayer games are our forte We did a market research survey of gamers and discovered that over 88 had heard of or had played the game of Bingo and only 9 thought that it was some sort of dog or chocolatey drink It s important to do your research American McGee s Bingo looks to change the way we look at the genre Our research into the game also proved that Bingo had a future Here was a competative multiplayer action game with nearly limitless replayability and variation Furthermore there was talk of improved 3D accelerated versions and even story based single player Bingo mission builders that are in the pipeline for quarter 4 2002 Ever wonder what American McGee is working on now that he finished Alice Well we can t say thanks to non disclosure agreements but suffice it to say you ll never look at the G column the same way again Everyone loves Bingo Drink your milk So Bingo has a huge audience It s going places That pretty much cinched it GameSpy had to have a BingoPlanet The next step in the process was to canvass the Internet to find the online Bingo experts the kind of people you turn to in a smoke filled hall for advice about your chances of finishing the O column before the 55th number is called Information like this is invaluable when you need to take a leak GameSpy sent key people to

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494412p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Gamers On the Move - Page 1
    an apartment with the combination bathroom kitchen and the bed that sometimes folds down from the wall is no longer big enough to contain your computer s subwoofer My fiance who helped with the move seems to share the common belief that gamers like me are incapable of executing a move Admittedly this position was reinforced by the fact that I did very little for most of the week but feverishly whine about how I ll be without the Internet for as many as four grueling hours Make no mistake moving is painful But the fact is I was not totally incapacitated in the face of moving Relocating a gamer is a special art and all my hard work shouldn t go to waste Here then is a quick guide to helping you make the big transition The Big Move First things first Prioritize Your number one goal is to spend as little time as possible sans PC One of the more sensible alternatives is to rig up your moving van with a satellite modem Your next step is packing up all the non gaming stuff This requires special care Take special care when packing and labelling animals and children My fiance and I found it helpful to give all of our furniture racy sounding nickanames So for example my large computer desk was referred to as my desk unit or simply my unit Movers could hear the following exchange wafting down the steps Honey where should I put my unit Put your unit in the bedroom I ll be right there It s too big it won t fit Put your unit up in the office Would you want to sit here I like it For even more fun with movers I recommend labelling each box with its contents

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494422p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Shenmusic to My Ears - Page 1
    the screenshot above and to the right that you re meeting your quota of hot chicks in the sequel and for that I applaud you But it s important for our hero to ignore the hot chicks in favor of sailors This is a formula that s worked for you before In the first game I spent and Yu I m not exaggerating at least six hours of realtime looking for sailors You had them hidden in a back alley around a corner and the plot refused to advance until I found them My real life fiance would keep walking into the room and I d be sprawled on the floor hair askew Are you STILL looking for sailors she d ask And yes Yu yes I was I was looking for sailors I looked for sailors despite the fact that Nozumi her sweater bulging in all the right places desperately wanted my taut body I would walk up to complete strangers in the street and my character would ask them about sailors Even the drunk guy Even Santa Claus But frankly the formula works If Ryo actually got in on where would the sexual tension be That s right Yu nowhere fast What would you do in the sequel I think Ryo s gotta keep this sailor thing going it seems to be a hit with the ladies Here s what I d like to see Hot Redheaded Biker Woman Ryo my knees grow weak with unfettered lust Take me home and let s take advantage of your force feedback controller Ryo do you know where I can find sailors Hot Redhead Quietly weeps 2 For No Reason Ryo s Old Foreman Shows Up In a 1964 Plymouth Barracuda Knee deep in unfamiliar Chinese hill country our hero finds

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494443p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Tactics for Handling Spam - Page 1
    benefit poweredbysteam com I would appreciate speaking with you or your Webmaster in more detail By choosing to use a pre developed database you will save thousands of dollars Here is a list of ideas that I thought you might want as part of your site An infinite number of website pages generated by our software A shopping cart to sell your products or services with no limitation on the number of products you can submit Marketing tools that inform and educate your clients features such as News Pages and Newsletters etc Your clients and target audience can discuss topics on your website in a Discussion Forum A Links Page to list useful resources for your site visitors A picture gallery where you or your clients can submit pictures An Advertising Section where clients can post banner advertisements Please review these packages starting at 499 and 49 a month and going up to 2499 and 99 a month I would really like to work with you because I know how much you will benefit from our modular based website tools and design Sincerely Bill Name Withheld Sales and Marketing We were simply awestruck We could get banner ads on our website or even pictures for as low as 2500 Where do we sign up But cooler heads prevailed we asked ourselves are these guys really in it for the steam Or are they just out to make a quick buck Maybe they re lying about understanding our business model We decided to write back Imagine living in this home of the future copyright c 2001 poweredbysteam com Hi Bill Wow it sounds as if your company might have exactly what we are looking for I m very interested in hearing your ideas on how you see your product benefiting a

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494448p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Editorial: The Iceman Campeth - Page 1
    arrow and not by natural causes Previously they were like uh he slipped and fell In the ice Or something I don t know about you but the circumstances appear pretty clear to me and my disgust with the scientific community stems from their unwillingness to accept fact Let s face it THE ICEMAN WAS TEAMKILLED Tools that the Iceman were carrying included this primitive AK 47 with 1X sniper scope I base my theories on hard evidence The arrow was found lodged in his back indicating that he didn t see it coming Puncturing his shoulder blade the arrow severed several major arteries and paralyzed his arm He probably died rather painfully from internal bleeding during which time I surmise he was typing WTF WTF We also know that the arrow was shot from below indicating that the Iceman was high up on the ridge when he was gunned down by a teammate What was he doing up there There were no weapons around him only those found on his body It s fortunate that much of his possessions were preserved for study a primitive axe fire starting equipment some medicines and several McDonald s Monopoly game pieces I ask why would anyone stop at a high point loaded down with health and ammo I know why THE ICEMAN WAS CAMPING Archaeologists study the iceman for evidence of the flag Naturally these theories bear careful study as the implications will reshape the way we look at our bronze age ancestry Although evidence to date has confirmed that camping was invented shortly around the time primitive man moved to an agricultural society the fact that Iceman was teamkilled speaks volumes to the manners and culture of Bronze Age gamers Yes they were organized into teams Did this mean that they

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494464p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: PlanetFargo After-School Special - Page 1
    What the hell is he talking about Fargo But don t you see He himself doesn t know what to think Or maybe he does I m not sure But he follows up with an explanation It was a project i made for school using quake 3 screenshots and MSpaint The point was to make two articles about a certain health issue in Australia that should be addressed I chose smoking With smoking comes smokers With smokers comes Sarge Lock Jaw shaithis Dude Quake 3 screenshots and MS Paint in the hands of a minor Nothing good can come of this Fargo No worries I plan to add witty commentary Dim the lights please Roll film What we are about to embark on is a moving emotional roller coaster tackling the themes of human frailty in the face of crippling drug addiction Anyways this is 100 his school project I didn t make any of this up Now if you don t mind I ll make background music noises with my lips shaithis I mind Fargo In this cleverly composed scene we re establishing the setting Arena Eternal It brings to mind immediately our own human fragility the idea that the arena will go on long after its participants have been mutilated by guns or perhaps cancer But hang on I m giving away too much shaithis I sympathize with Sarge here you know about to embark on another fine day of killin Mmmnnhnhggnn sweet killing shaithis What s this It s only the second frame and already the goody goody has to make an appearance We haven t even gotten to the first commercial break yet Fargo Look here it s DOOM clearly using his celebrity status to influence kids away from the dangers of drugs Just like Mr

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494472p1.html (2016-02-16)
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  • GameSpy: Tribes 2: Daring Air Commandos - Page 1
    and lightning fast DSL connection that the family had never given up Life had resumed a normal pattern for the Kittridges every morning parting ways for work and school returning in the evenings for dinner after which Gary would wrap up his day with a couple hours of Tribes 2 The only source of friction in this small family occurred around 10 30 PM every night Gary s mother began to hover in the room behind him as he played his computer monitor lit from above with a small warm desk lamp the thick red curtains on the windows around him drawn tight to avoid the white glare of streetlights from outside She paced back and forth It s late she said her shadow growing and shrinking on the back wall You need to get to bed for school she said It s nearly eleven she said Frustrated to have his game cut short Gary would log off Groggily he d slip into the bathroom brush his teeth and collapse onto bed where he d fall asleep immediately dreaming of aerial combat Gary Hurler Kittridge World s Foremost Tribes 2 pilot His worst enemy was bedtime Indeed Gary was no ordinary citizen of the Tribes 2 community For those who had ever faced the displeasure of running across him on the server the dreaded Hurler they immediately associated the nickname with terror from above Hurler Kittridge was possibly the best Shrike pilot the game had ever seen A prodigy The small single seat aircraft with its shields and plasma guns was like an extension of his body He was the Bobby Fischer of Tribes A genius who in the wake of an appearance left behind a winning team and enough stories to be told on newsgroups for years Good reflexes

    Original URL path: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/494/494477p1.html (2016-02-16)
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