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  • Five Ways I Know I’m Not an Elf… | StupidRanger.com
    not an elf I hate being outdoors on my vacation I desperately hate bugs It is pretty satisfying hitting a water beetle with a shovel though I find it difficult to revere the root system of a tree or bush The symbolism of its tenacity does not endear me to it when my hands are blistered and cut from removing said trees or bushes The tapestry of obscenities I wove while removing said bushes and trees alone probably precludes me from inclusion in the elven race I got horrifyingly sunburned on my first day outside When was the last time you saw a sunburned elf that didn t have glue on plastic ears at GenCon from Dante rpgbloggers silly 3 Responses leave one David permalink July 7 2008 On the other hand you may be the tallest whitest skinniest dwarf I ve ever seen Noumenon permalink July 7 2008 6 When you trance you don t feel rested Probably because of all those people behind you with their car horns Dave The Game permalink July 7 2008 Every time I ve tried watching on top of snow surfing down an elephant s trunk or re rolling my attack roll something

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/2008/07/five-ways-i-know-im-not-an-elf.php (2016-04-27)
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  • All work and no raccoons make Dante a dull boy… | StupidRanger.com
    sing My Sharona with a mouthful of faux foam to really sell the point and then it hit me rabies would probably be a minor inconvenience At least in 3 5 edition Without falling back on the lame shtick of uh this is magical rabies It s resistant to Cure Disease the best I could do is hope that his antics would lead the group into enough immediate roleplaying to make the notion interesting for a bit Sadly work responsibilities have prevented me from getting far enough into the 4e books to know if they made curing disease more of a process or if its still a magical balm for all sorts of interesting maladies that could make for an interesting gaming session Perhaps this week I will tear into those books and all questions will be answered Until then head on over to Questionable Content read a few and tell Jeph that Dante sent ya Maybe he ll stop by over here and make my month I don t even know if he roleplays but I m assuming from the tone of his strip that he s got enough nerd in him to roll a few 20 s from Dante fourth edition rpgbloggers silly 2 Responses leave one Ben Pop permalink July 1 2008 Oh man I love QC I ve been following for years now and it s always cool to hear that somebody else likes it I liked the dream sequences too My favorite was Dora s I also like the Cloud Strife hair that Hanners is pimpin now as well I get little bits of D D here and there from QC but not a lot A young Marten was the captain of the D D club and Dora mentioning Magic Missile in the current arc

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/2008/06/all-work-and-no-raccoons-make-dante-a-dull-boy.php (2016-04-27)
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  • Regarding things one shouldn’t muse about late at night… | StupidRanger.com
    tonight and it was just too good not to ask you all Do zombie vegetarians still want to eat brains I think chances are good that the answer is yes however they will readily substitute it for cauliflower This also got me thinking about Jonathan Coulton s Re Your Brains Everyone should go buy his music right now all the time I would really love to get the chance to hang out with him someday but chances of that are very remote Have a very zombie riffic weekend from Dante rpgbloggers silly 7 Responses leave one Ktrey permalink June 27 2008 Zombie Vegetarians eat GRAAAIIINNS Dave The Game permalink June 27 2008 A friend of mine hangs with JoCo on a fairly regular basis whenever he tours in the area but then again she s also good friends with Weird Al Francois B permalink June 27 2008 I would think especially stupid people would taste like cauliflower Dante permalink June 27 2008 Dave I think I want to be friends with your friend And her friends Ktrey I about spit Diet Coke all over my screen when I read this good one Francois B LOL Ben Pop permalink June 27 2008 dante re ktrey That s a pretty old joke that one Erm so I guess I m first time posting Well I like D D just introduced to it in February and looking to DM myself sometime So cool I like reading you guys Kavonde permalink June 27 2008 Jonathan Coulton is The Man Capitalized As for the zombies I think they d just eat brains anyway I mean vegetarianism is a choice not a natural state of being a zombie doesn t think about what it s going to eat it just eats However it s possible that

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/2008/06/regarding-things-one-shouldnt-muse-about-late-at-night.php (2016-04-27)
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  • If Andrew Lloyd Webber Was a DM | StupidRanger.com
    believes him Then Raoul comes along He s a rival bard who uses his Bardic Music to Fascinate and Suggest to Christine that the angel is not to be trusted and she should love him instead She fails her Will Save and totally believes him instead There s some crazy who s better than whom battling with music and rapiers and such After leveling up the Phantom rolls very very well on his Craft Opera roll and Christine is cast as the lead On opening night the Phantom pulls out his Disguise Kit and joins her on stage after he kills the other guy then kidnaps her via the conveniently placed trap door and whisks her away to his lair Raoul tries to follow but he fails his Reflex save when he triggers a trap door He falls into a pit of water but he makes his Swim check and manages to escape He eventually finds the Phantom s lair There s more singing and each of the bards tries to cancel out the other s Bardic Music Christine finally makes a few Will Saves and realizes that the Phantom really isn t the catch he wanted her to believe

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/2008/06/if-andrew-lloyd-webber-was-a-dm.php (2016-04-27)
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  • One Hammer to Rule Them All… | StupidRanger.com
    the sound of water dripping onto leather Looking up I found that the water from the hookup had well ruined a few areas of the finished ceiling in my basement I immediately employed the use of large fans and a dehumidifier and called the plumber Help arrives in the form of Albus Plumberdore The short bearded man arrived today looking very much like a workingman s version of Richard Harris as Albus Dumbledore and proceeded to fix the water hookup apparently called a hydrant After knocking a hole in my ceiling wince he had to go to the local hardware store to get some parts and curiosity getting the best of me I went down to see what he was doing Necessity is the mother of invention Now I m not going to get too far into it now but suffice it to say that I really really like Lord of the Rings and have subsequently decorated my basement with all sorts of accouterments from the films never fear I will post more fully on this once I can take some better photos Luckily none of my displays were harmed by the water however I did vacate the wallhanging stuff from the affected area Very near to where the hydrant was leaking I had United Cutlery s Staff of Saruman hanging on its hanger I relocated the staff to my bar for safety and hilariously I found this in its place Apparently in the process of knocking the hole in my ceiling ol Albus Plumberdore needed a third hand to hold his hammer and he elected to use the staff hanger as his proxy Not only that but he fell victim to the strange entropy field that exists in my house and affects only contractors because this is the second

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/2008/05/one-hammer-to-rule-them-all.php (2016-04-27)
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  • Ode to the Roleplaying Mom… | StupidRanger.com
    I think I ll leave that one for when I m in a less irreverent mood Another interesting thing about your character s mother your arch rival always knows where she is and given the opportunity will capture her and hold her hostage For this reason I recommend your character giving ol Mom a very valuable gift if she is still among the living A necklace of fireballs when you love her enough to give her the ability to do 10d6 damage You know to keep her safe from interlopers Also a few lessons on how to use it might not hurt so she doesn t incinerate her sewing circle showing it off And sending her a letter from time to time wouldn t kill you would it from Dante rpgbloggers silly 2 Responses leave one happyturtle permalink May 12 2008 In our last session my cleric went up a level and was able to cast Sending for the first time Her first message was to her mentor in the temple to request advice in dealing with the serious world threatening conspiracy her group had uncovered The second message was to her mom to say I love you I miss

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/2008/05/ode-to-the-roleplaying-mom.php (2016-04-27)
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  • silly | StupidRanger.com
    Dragon 0 4 30 08 A Girl s Best Friend 1 11 16 07 Sorry Leopold Plots are for Players 10 10 23 07 Monty Haul X TREME Newer Entries Welcome to StupidRanger com We re here to provide our

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/category/silly/page/2 (2016-04-27)
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  • Preparing for Gencon: Just a few more days… | StupidRanger.com
    monitors to make sure your events haven t been canceled I have to say in the past I haven t always planned well enough because one of the things I have regretted was missing meeting a favorite author Wizards has a author signing schedule posted on their site If you want to meet some of your favorites you might make a note of when they are signing Also I encourage you to take a few moments to participate in some of the Gygax memorial events Zachary Houghton from RPG Blog II has a great write up on events And if you still need something to do Out of the Box Roleplaying You think we re crazy online wait til you meet us in person The StupidRanger crew be unleashing all of our zaniest on the mostly suspecting guest players in our own little campaign And we have some fun stuff planned for the audience so you should plan to join us SEM00075 Sunday 9am 11am RPG Bloggers Unite Join many of the RPG Bloggers in our own little meet greet SEM00192 Saturday 1pm 2pm Queen of Geeks Pageant I ll be participating the pageant and I could definitely use a cheering section ZED00001 Friday 10am 1pm from gencon 2008 rpgbloggers Stupid Advice 2 Responses leave one DNAphil permalink August 11 2008 I am not sure if it is sad or not but I am the ultimate planning nerd I have already made up my shopping list for the Convention Floor I have also went through the list of vendors viewed their websites and made of list of things that I want to see out on the floor If that was not bad enough or group has also created a shared google spreadsheet where we all put our events so that

    Original URL path: http://www.stupidranger.com/2008/08/preparing-for-gencon-just-a-few-more-days.php (2016-04-27)
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